song: kill the messenger by jack's mannequin.
*Ryan's POV*
Anna stayed true to her word and moved out right away. It was the hardest thing in the world to tell Remy that Mommy and Daddy needed 'some time apart'. Her favourite question was always, 'Why?' and I had a hard time keeping up with her. I made sure Anna called her every day, and she seemed to start to understand. It was the most gruelling two months of my life.
It was all really taking a toll on me. I had to take Remy to school each day, run to practice, perhaps do an autograph session or two, go to charity events, run the Steadfast Foundation, and of course, do my job as a goaltender at Sabres games. On top of all that I still had to grocery shop, make sure she was washed and fed, and endless things. I was not giving up on being a father, that was for sure- and people were noticing, even as I walked into the Buffalo locker room.
"Hey SuperDaddy," Pat Kaleta said with a nod.
"Hi Kallie, can you take Remy for a minute?" I handed my daughter to Tim Connelly, who didn't object, "Look, I need to ask a favour." I suddenly started coughing. My throat had been killing me for two days, but I hadn't done anything about it; I figured it would pass. I made sure not to get any germs on Remy in case I was contracting something.
"Jesus, Miller. Your salary cap's bigger than mine."
I laughed a bit, "I'm not asking for money. I'm asking if you could watch Remy for me tomorrow night."
Kaleta frowned, "What for?"
I sighed, "I'm having a guest over."
"You and Anna patching things up or something?"
"NO!" I practically yelled, causing everyone in the locker room to look at me, "I'm having a friend over."
"Which friend?"
"What's it to you?"
"Millsy, you've mean a hot mess ever since you broke it off with Anna," Jason Pominville noted, "Seriously, what really happened between you two?"
I gritted my teeth, holding in another cough, "I already said I am not going to talk about it."
"Daddy, Mommy has a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?"
The room fell silent. My mischevious four year old escaped Tim's clutches and was now practicing with a spare stick. I felt the eyes of every single one of my team mates looking at me. I groaned.
"I kind of do, sweetie, but it's hard to explain."
Drew Stafford patted me on the back, "Atta boy. Who's the lucky lady?"
I shook my head, "I'm not talking about that."
Remy took a shot with the stick and scored the tape ball she made in someone's hanging jock, "She shoots, she scores!"
"Miller, I already told you," I heard the voice of Lindy Ruff booming in the doorway, "This is no place for a child. Especially a little girl." His voice seemed unusually loud. My head hurt.
I stood up quickly, feeling a slight head rush, "I'm sorry, Lindy, but I don't have a choice."
"There's plenty of weekend daycares in the area, you know," Lindy explained, "Seriously, kid, you're setting yourself up for exhaustion."
I shrugged, "I feel fine."
Derek Roy passed by, "You look like shit." Pat punched him in the side, motioning to Remy. "Oh, I mean, you look awful."
Remy was already on it, "Bad Uncle Derek! Go on, go in the corner. Hide your face! Ten minutes for missy crom ducks!"
I held in a laugh. Remy couldn't say 'misconduct.'
"Look, we're playing the Panthers tonight," Lindy said, "Lalime, it's been awhile since I gave you a start."
"Wait, I can-"
"Go home, Miller. Get some rest." Lindy nodded at Stafford, "Can you handle the kid?"
Drew Stafford swept Remy up in his arms, "Sure thing. Melissa loves her. Jake and Lily will love to have her for a sleepover."
"Sleepover?" Remy's eyes went wide, "YAY STAFFY! Sleepover! Can I Daddy? Can I?"
I had no choice but to say yes, leaving my daughter with Melissa Stafford shortly afterward, explaining I would pack Remy a bag later. I trusted them and I had before, but I felt stupid. I really was trying, but getting sick had messed up an otherwise excellent attendance record. This made me a terrible father as far as I was concerned.
Calling Julie was the first thing on my mind when I got home.
"Hello?"
"Hi Jules," I said, sniffling as I felt another sneeze coming on, "Did you say you'd be by around seven?"
Julie replied, "Ryan, you sound terrible."
"I'm fine!" I insisted, "Don't worry, I'll be good by tomorrow."
"Ok then," Julie said quietly, "See you then."
"Yep."
I hung up the phone and collapsed on the couch.
-
It must've been around six when I woke up to the smell of Windex. I rubbed my eyes, sore as they were, and saw someone was cleaning the window in the kitchen. And the kitchen was immaculately clean. Standing up and looking around, I saw my entire house was clean. That was when my head and throat began to ache, and my knees grew weak and I fell over.
"Ryan!"
I opened my eyes and saw Julie's pretty face looking down at me.
"What...is it tomorrow?"
"Jesus, you're burning up," she said, touching my forehead, "You need to get to bed, pronto."
"I...I don't know what you mean..."
"Bullshit, Ryan," Julie said, putting my arm over her shoulder and dragging me up the stairs, "Come on, sweetheart. I'm going to take care of you." Somehow we made it upstairs and into my room. I noticed she had even made my bed for me. Julia had cleaned the entire place!
She gently laid me down in bed and began to pull off my pants. I grabbed the waist and objected, "HEY!" before erupting in a sneezing fit. Great, now I was sneezing.
"I'm getting you into your boxers, silly," Jules said simply, "So you're comfy. Ok?"
"Oh...ok."
I let her proceed and then I got under the blankets. I felt like I hadn't slept in years. My throat hurt all the way to my ears, and my cough had made its way to my chest. Julie disappeared for a moment into the bathroom, and came back with a cold cloth. She placed it gently on my forehead and ran her hand up and down my bare arm. It felt nice.
I closed my eyes, "Mmm..."
"Tell me where it hurts."
I sighed, "My throat, my chest...my muscles ache..."
Jules nodded, "I know exactly what to do for you, then."
She disappeared again and came back with a bottle of cough syrup, some Advil Cold pills, and Vicks Vapour Rub.
"It'll be a bit cold at first, but it'll help..."
I laid there and let her spread the Vicks on my chest and felt instant relief. Maybe it was the Vicks, maybe it was simply her touch. After that I took some pills and the cough syrup before collapsing on my pillow.
"I brought chicken soup too," she told me, starting to massage my temples, which felt like heaven against my headache, "For when you get hungry."
"Mmmm...please stay forever." I groaned.
I felt her kiss my forehead, and I wished I had to strength to put my arms around her, but I failed. Julie realized I was achy and took note. She crawled in next to me, her feet touching mine. We hadn't done this since the night Carey cheated on her.
"Turn on your side," she whispered, "I'll help you sleep, Miller..."
I did as she said and felt her hands starting to work on my sore back. I sighed happily. So this was what romance was like. Anna would never in a million years give me a massage, let alone take care of me if I was sick. Julie's touch was soft and kind. Her sweetness began to seep through me, and I felt sleepy again. Once she had me completely relaxed, I drifted into a blissful slumber.
I only hoped she'd still be there when I awoke, and that it wasn't a dream.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
eight : disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak
Song: Heartbreak Warfare, John Mayer
*Julie’s POV*
I woke up that morning and I had actually gotten a decent night’s sleep next to Ryan, which is exactly what I needed. My heart had finally stopped breaking. I just wanted this all out into the open. I wanted to know his reasons, her reasons, about why they would do this.
I got up and changed back into my clothes from yesterday. Just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I threw on one of Ryan’s jackets on because it was raining. He drove me to the apartment and upon arriving, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach.
“You sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“I’m sure” I said drawing in a sharp breath, “It has to be done…”
I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. I heard a couple muffled voices that I ignored and let myself in, with Ryan close behind.
“Hey baby” he smiled innocently, “How was shopping with Chantal?”
“I didn’t go” I simply replied.
“Oh…well that’s too bad” he frowned, “I ran into Anna on my way back from the gym and we thought maybe you guys would all like to go out for dinner”
“Not happening” I said.
“You ok?” he asked, “you don’t look so good”
“I can’t believe you’re playing innocent” I muttered.
“About what?” Anna replied.
“I saw you both…”
“What’s he doing here?” Carey asked looking in Ryan’s direction. He looked nervous. As he should be.
“It involves me too” Ryan replied, “Are you two seriously going to pretend you did nothing?”
“You know what? Carey offered me comfort and attention. You always turned me away”
“What I saw was not comfort” I snapped.
“It wasn’t forced either” Carey muttered.
“You could have at least told me if I did something wrong. Instead you act like a fucking coward and do this behind my back”
“I was NOT being a coward” he snapped back, “If anything, I was helping a friend. You are so fucking obsessed with popping out a kid, and you stopped caring about me completely”
“I was lonely Ryan…Carey gave me something you couldn’t…” Anna replied softly.
“First of all, you sick son of a bitch, you were not helping out a friend. You were doing that to break my heart” just as I said that I could smell smoke in my apartment, “You…you’re smoking in MY apartment? The one I let you move into? So much for quitting…” I was furious at this point.
“He should be able to do what he enjoys” Anna replied, with some attitude I should add.
“Which is you?” Ryan shot back with some sarcasm.
“Like you even bothered, Ryan” she replied.
“If you don’t appreciate what you have, then it goes away, simple as that Miller. Go cry to your Vezina”
“Don’t you dare go there. You don’t pretend like he’s the one that did something wrong here, don’t even try getting out of this scot-free. You went after MY best friend. Remember Anna? We used to be best friends”
“Fine, ok? What we did was wrong. But our reasons weren’t” she replied.
“Oh Anna, question. You remember your little girl, Remy? Through all of this did you even think of her? What this could do to her? All I have heard since this started was “Where’s mommy?” “Why isn’t mommy taking me to school?” “Is mommy ok?” and the list goes on”
“Selfish bitch…” I said under my breath”
“You are the selfish bitch Julie” Carey snapped.
“She’s a selfish bitch?” Ryan replied jumping to my defence, “All she did was care about you Carey. Maybe a little too much, she knows that, but you know it was enough for her to try and commit suicide because she though if you didn’t want her…who would? You know where I found her? In the bathtub, under the water, barely alive. I don’t know about you, but you two are the ones being selfish. If you didn’t want her Carey you could have at least been a man and told her”
“By the sounds of this Ryan, I’m not the only one with a wandering eye” Anna said with a sly smirk.
“Excuse me?” I said, barely holding back the tears, “Don’t put this on him. At least he cared about me enough. Unlike the immature five year old who can’t keep his hormones in check” I just looked him up and down in disgust.
“Anna does things that you’ve never even considered doing Julie. She has given me everything you can’t in less than two days”
“Oh and Ryan, he doesn’t have to shave his back either”
“Again, it’s always about you guys isn’t it?” I huffed, “You never considered how much you hurt me, or Ryan, or even your little girl. I almost died and you didn’t say a fucking word about it” I had stopped crying at this point, I was done wasting my tears on him.
“I never really realized how overdramatic you are…” Carey replied. I heard Anna snicker and I shot her a glare.
“You call suicide overdramatic?” Ryan replied. He looked like he was ready to jump Carey.
Anna stepped in between us and put her hands up, “Ok look, what Carey and I did was wrong, I accept that. Julie may have tried to hurt herself and failed, but the whole point is we’re all unhappy with our relationships”
“That’s all you have to say?” I asked crossing my arms.
“Better than the shit you said” she mumbled.
I ignored her comment and turned to Carey, “You never cared about me, did you?”
“I loved you when you were you. I don’t love you anymore Julie…”
The words I expected to hurt, didn’t. It’s like they flew right by me, because I just didn’t love him anymore. That was his own fault.
“You know what, if you had told me this before you would have saved us a whole lot of misery. Because I really don’t love you anymore” I half smiled as I said it, “Oh and Anna, we’re not friends anymore. Just looking at you makes me sick”
“Good, cause I couldn’t be friends with someone that would push him away” she replied.
“Fine, I really don’t feel like arguing with you anymore anyways”
“Good so I’ll be out by morning” Carey said.
“So will I, oh and Ryan, you‘ll be explaining this to Remy, you brought this upon yourself” Anna replied.
“Oh Carey, I want you out tonight” I replied with a smirk.
“Don’t worry about Remy” Ryan replied, “She doesn’t need your example in her life”
Anna marched up to him and slapped him across the face. I immediately pushed her away and stepped in between them.
“Like she needs yours either” she said.
“I’m pretty sure all he did was care about the girl” I replied, “You did yourself no favours Anna”
“Fuck you both” she said.
I just half laughed, “Um, I’d rather not, but thanks for the offer” I heard Ryan snicker and she just shot me a glare, “Get out of my apartment, I really hope you’re both so happy together” I said sarcastically.
“I’ll be back for my stuff” Carey said.
“Let me know cause I’d rather not be here when you do” I replied.
I watched them both leave and I just sighed. That all ended up being easier than I thought it would be. I really felt nothing seeing him go. I thought I would at least cry or something, but nothing. I was proud of myself.
“Well done” he laughed.
“Thanks” I smiled, “Not so bad yourself”
He put his hand on his cheek and just winced, “She left quite a mark there” I said putting my hand on his cheek, “Ice?”
“That would be nice” he replied.
I went to the freezer and he followed me. All I could find was a bag of frozen vegetables. I shrugged and pulled it from the freezer. He was a bit taller so I reached up and put it on his cheek.
*Ryan’s POV*
Her touch was warm, even if it was a bag of frozen vegetables. I felt something I don’t even remember feeling for Anna. She was truly a sweetheart, and a beautiful soul. I also can’t deny that she was beautiful too. I moved my hand up and pulled the bag from my cheek and took her hand.
“Thank you” I said.
“For what? I should be thanking you. You saved me…” she replied.
“You helped me realize that I was making a mistake marrying her”
“Well it’s not what I meant to do” she lightly laughed, “But ok”
“You know these last couple days I have realized something”
“What’s that?” she asked leaning against the counter.
“That you mean a lot more to me than I thought you would”
She was silent for a minute. Before she could make a break for it I stood in front of her, putting both my hands on the counter to keep her from going anywhere. She just lightly smiled, but before I could make the move, she took my face in her hands and kissed me. I have to say, I’ve never been kissed like that before.
“I honestly have wanted to do that for a while…” she said.
“Really?”
She just nodded, “I kinda like you Miller”
I just smirked, “I kinda like you too Jules”
I just kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug. I felt 100% better now that this was all out in the open. Anna was poison. It might sound harsh, but I just don’t think she would have done either me or Remy any good. Now Julie, she was a different story.
*Julie’s POV*
I woke up that morning and I had actually gotten a decent night’s sleep next to Ryan, which is exactly what I needed. My heart had finally stopped breaking. I just wanted this all out into the open. I wanted to know his reasons, her reasons, about why they would do this.
I got up and changed back into my clothes from yesterday. Just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I threw on one of Ryan’s jackets on because it was raining. He drove me to the apartment and upon arriving, I felt a sick feeling in my stomach.
“You sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“I’m sure” I said drawing in a sharp breath, “It has to be done…”
I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. I heard a couple muffled voices that I ignored and let myself in, with Ryan close behind.
“Hey baby” he smiled innocently, “How was shopping with Chantal?”
“I didn’t go” I simply replied.
“Oh…well that’s too bad” he frowned, “I ran into Anna on my way back from the gym and we thought maybe you guys would all like to go out for dinner”
“Not happening” I said.
“You ok?” he asked, “you don’t look so good”
“I can’t believe you’re playing innocent” I muttered.
“About what?” Anna replied.
“I saw you both…”
“What’s he doing here?” Carey asked looking in Ryan’s direction. He looked nervous. As he should be.
“It involves me too” Ryan replied, “Are you two seriously going to pretend you did nothing?”
“You know what? Carey offered me comfort and attention. You always turned me away”
“What I saw was not comfort” I snapped.
“It wasn’t forced either” Carey muttered.
“You could have at least told me if I did something wrong. Instead you act like a fucking coward and do this behind my back”
“I was NOT being a coward” he snapped back, “If anything, I was helping a friend. You are so fucking obsessed with popping out a kid, and you stopped caring about me completely”
“I was lonely Ryan…Carey gave me something you couldn’t…” Anna replied softly.
“First of all, you sick son of a bitch, you were not helping out a friend. You were doing that to break my heart” just as I said that I could smell smoke in my apartment, “You…you’re smoking in MY apartment? The one I let you move into? So much for quitting…” I was furious at this point.
“He should be able to do what he enjoys” Anna replied, with some attitude I should add.
“Which is you?” Ryan shot back with some sarcasm.
“Like you even bothered, Ryan” she replied.
“If you don’t appreciate what you have, then it goes away, simple as that Miller. Go cry to your Vezina”
“Don’t you dare go there. You don’t pretend like he’s the one that did something wrong here, don’t even try getting out of this scot-free. You went after MY best friend. Remember Anna? We used to be best friends”
“Fine, ok? What we did was wrong. But our reasons weren’t” she replied.
“Oh Anna, question. You remember your little girl, Remy? Through all of this did you even think of her? What this could do to her? All I have heard since this started was “Where’s mommy?” “Why isn’t mommy taking me to school?” “Is mommy ok?” and the list goes on”
“Selfish bitch…” I said under my breath”
“You are the selfish bitch Julie” Carey snapped.
“She’s a selfish bitch?” Ryan replied jumping to my defence, “All she did was care about you Carey. Maybe a little too much, she knows that, but you know it was enough for her to try and commit suicide because she though if you didn’t want her…who would? You know where I found her? In the bathtub, under the water, barely alive. I don’t know about you, but you two are the ones being selfish. If you didn’t want her Carey you could have at least been a man and told her”
“By the sounds of this Ryan, I’m not the only one with a wandering eye” Anna said with a sly smirk.
“Excuse me?” I said, barely holding back the tears, “Don’t put this on him. At least he cared about me enough. Unlike the immature five year old who can’t keep his hormones in check” I just looked him up and down in disgust.
“Anna does things that you’ve never even considered doing Julie. She has given me everything you can’t in less than two days”
“Oh and Ryan, he doesn’t have to shave his back either”
“Again, it’s always about you guys isn’t it?” I huffed, “You never considered how much you hurt me, or Ryan, or even your little girl. I almost died and you didn’t say a fucking word about it” I had stopped crying at this point, I was done wasting my tears on him.
“I never really realized how overdramatic you are…” Carey replied. I heard Anna snicker and I shot her a glare.
“You call suicide overdramatic?” Ryan replied. He looked like he was ready to jump Carey.
Anna stepped in between us and put her hands up, “Ok look, what Carey and I did was wrong, I accept that. Julie may have tried to hurt herself and failed, but the whole point is we’re all unhappy with our relationships”
“That’s all you have to say?” I asked crossing my arms.
“Better than the shit you said” she mumbled.
I ignored her comment and turned to Carey, “You never cared about me, did you?”
“I loved you when you were you. I don’t love you anymore Julie…”
The words I expected to hurt, didn’t. It’s like they flew right by me, because I just didn’t love him anymore. That was his own fault.
“You know what, if you had told me this before you would have saved us a whole lot of misery. Because I really don’t love you anymore” I half smiled as I said it, “Oh and Anna, we’re not friends anymore. Just looking at you makes me sick”
“Good, cause I couldn’t be friends with someone that would push him away” she replied.
“Fine, I really don’t feel like arguing with you anymore anyways”
“Good so I’ll be out by morning” Carey said.
“So will I, oh and Ryan, you‘ll be explaining this to Remy, you brought this upon yourself” Anna replied.
“Oh Carey, I want you out tonight” I replied with a smirk.
“Don’t worry about Remy” Ryan replied, “She doesn’t need your example in her life”
Anna marched up to him and slapped him across the face. I immediately pushed her away and stepped in between them.
“Like she needs yours either” she said.
“I’m pretty sure all he did was care about the girl” I replied, “You did yourself no favours Anna”
“Fuck you both” she said.
I just half laughed, “Um, I’d rather not, but thanks for the offer” I heard Ryan snicker and she just shot me a glare, “Get out of my apartment, I really hope you’re both so happy together” I said sarcastically.
“I’ll be back for my stuff” Carey said.
“Let me know cause I’d rather not be here when you do” I replied.
I watched them both leave and I just sighed. That all ended up being easier than I thought it would be. I really felt nothing seeing him go. I thought I would at least cry or something, but nothing. I was proud of myself.
“Well done” he laughed.
“Thanks” I smiled, “Not so bad yourself”
He put his hand on his cheek and just winced, “She left quite a mark there” I said putting my hand on his cheek, “Ice?”
“That would be nice” he replied.
I went to the freezer and he followed me. All I could find was a bag of frozen vegetables. I shrugged and pulled it from the freezer. He was a bit taller so I reached up and put it on his cheek.
*Ryan’s POV*
Her touch was warm, even if it was a bag of frozen vegetables. I felt something I don’t even remember feeling for Anna. She was truly a sweetheart, and a beautiful soul. I also can’t deny that she was beautiful too. I moved my hand up and pulled the bag from my cheek and took her hand.
“Thank you” I said.
“For what? I should be thanking you. You saved me…” she replied.
“You helped me realize that I was making a mistake marrying her”
“Well it’s not what I meant to do” she lightly laughed, “But ok”
“You know these last couple days I have realized something”
“What’s that?” she asked leaning against the counter.
“That you mean a lot more to me than I thought you would”
She was silent for a minute. Before she could make a break for it I stood in front of her, putting both my hands on the counter to keep her from going anywhere. She just lightly smiled, but before I could make the move, she took my face in her hands and kissed me. I have to say, I’ve never been kissed like that before.
“I honestly have wanted to do that for a while…” she said.
“Really?”
She just nodded, “I kinda like you Miller”
I just smirked, “I kinda like you too Jules”
I just kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug. I felt 100% better now that this was all out in the open. Anna was poison. It might sound harsh, but I just don’t think she would have done either me or Remy any good. Now Julie, she was a different story.
seven: I can't find the words to tell you.
song: never let this go by paramore.
*Ryan's POV*
Poor Julie. I had no idea what to do. I only did what she wanted, in hopes she would remain safe. As she drifted off to sleep in the dark, I stayed awake and let my thoughts wander.
It really hit me then that Anna had, or was, cheating on me. With her best friend's boyfriend. I sighed, wondering how this could have happened. Could I have prevented it? Certainly. I could've prevented a lot of things.
The voice of my coach and long-time friend, Lindy Ruff, came into my head as I thought to myself.
"Don't blame yourself for every little goal they get on you. Celebrate the ones you stop, and learn from your mistakes."
In truth, the only reason I'd asked for Anna's hand was because we had a daughter together- that, and my mom was pestering me to make things 'proper.' Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a normal, middle-class household in Michigan, but that was how Mom was. She loved her granddaughter, but told me constantly that I had to marry Anna to set a good example for Remy. Maybe asking her to marry me was a mistake.
I knew I wasn't in love with Anna anymore, and that was why I was more confused than heartbroken as Julie was. Things had started to fade between us just before I left for Vancouver. We'd make love less, kiss less, hug a little lighter. While Dustin Brown, my roommate in the village, spent a good hour on the phone with his girlfriend after the Gold game loss to Canada, I texted Anna briefly. Walking around with my silver medal at the closing ceremonies, I found myself thinking not of Anna, but of my daughter, watching on television. I had to show her that Daddy was a proud American, no matter what place we'd made it to.
Remy. What was I going to do about her? I knew at some point I'd have to confront Anna about her sleeping with Carey, which I knew would result in breaking off the engagement. In a way, for Remy's sake, I thought about going to see a relationship counsellor after dealing with that. I wanted to stay with Anna, so that Remy would still have her mother around. I didn't want to break things between them.
Carey Price was a different story. I despised him for two reasons, the first being that he had slept with the mother of my child and wife to be, and secondly that he had driven Julie to attempt suicide. The second part made me angrier than the first. Somehow I knew Anna and I were detiorating, and my refusal of lovemaking for a long time didn't surprise me that she chose to cheat. My heart ached, knowing it truly was my own fault, and I probably deserved it. But what Carey did to Julie was the single most unnecessary act in the world. How could he hurt such a sweet and beautiful girl?
I ran my fingers through Julie's hair, listening to her breathing softly. I was more concerned for her than for myself, which didn't make too much sense. It was lucky that she'd called me and I'd caught her before it was too late. Thinking of this, I squeezed her tightly, a bit, just to make sure she was still there. Julie groaned in her sleep and snuggled up to me closer; her hand reaching up and grazing across my cheek.
"I like your stubble, Ryan..." Jules whispered in her sleep.
I chuckled a bit, "Thanks."
The last time Anna and I had stayed in bed like this was almost a year ago. I hardly remembered it. This kind of thing we used to do all the time, and shortly after Remy was born, things changed. Stress evolved. Waking up in the middle of the night became a chore. And we lost interest in each other.
Of course, the last time we'd really had sex was the second time I got Anna pregnant. We were both drunk at Drew Stafford's house during somebody's birthday celebration, and we both snuck off to the guest bedroom and locked ourselves in. We used no protection, and a couple months later (which was ironically, now), we found out about the pregnancy. I was happy to be becoming a father again and I immediately proposed to Anna.
I was slowly weaving my own mess, and now it had come full circle for me. But at this moment I didn't care. All I cared about was the small, shaking bundle next to me, begging for my attention. I held onto her tightly, promising not to leave that night.
Julia needed me.
Anna didn't.
-
*Anna's POV*
"...and seriously, the best part about being pregnant? Multiple orgasms."
Carey smirked, "I know. I've got the marks on my back to prove it."
I wrapped my legs around his, "Tell me, Price. Am I better than her?"
He lit a cigarette, "Oh yeah..."
I smiled and leaned back on the pillow. Two fucking hours of mind-blowing sex with Carey Price. Mmmhmm. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I was so sick and tired of the mindless, useless stuff with Ryan. Carey was different, exciting- and he gave me what I wanted. Several times.
"Julie doesn't let me smoke."
"Julie's a bitch sometimes," I sighed, "You can smoke if you want."
Carey laughed, "You don't think being thrown around by me is bad for your baby?"
I shrugged, "I didn't want another kid, to be honest."
Carey gave me a shocked look, "So you don't care....?"
"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."
I watched Carey blow a smoke ring. My phone suddenly went off. I jumped out of bed, naked of course, and looked at my phone. Ryan had texted me twice, asking where I was. I simply texted him back that I had gone shopping.
"Who was it?" Carey asked me.
I smirked, pulling the blankets back, "No one."
*Ryan's POV*
Poor Julie. I had no idea what to do. I only did what she wanted, in hopes she would remain safe. As she drifted off to sleep in the dark, I stayed awake and let my thoughts wander.
It really hit me then that Anna had, or was, cheating on me. With her best friend's boyfriend. I sighed, wondering how this could have happened. Could I have prevented it? Certainly. I could've prevented a lot of things.
The voice of my coach and long-time friend, Lindy Ruff, came into my head as I thought to myself.
"Don't blame yourself for every little goal they get on you. Celebrate the ones you stop, and learn from your mistakes."
In truth, the only reason I'd asked for Anna's hand was because we had a daughter together- that, and my mom was pestering me to make things 'proper.' Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a normal, middle-class household in Michigan, but that was how Mom was. She loved her granddaughter, but told me constantly that I had to marry Anna to set a good example for Remy. Maybe asking her to marry me was a mistake.
I knew I wasn't in love with Anna anymore, and that was why I was more confused than heartbroken as Julie was. Things had started to fade between us just before I left for Vancouver. We'd make love less, kiss less, hug a little lighter. While Dustin Brown, my roommate in the village, spent a good hour on the phone with his girlfriend after the Gold game loss to Canada, I texted Anna briefly. Walking around with my silver medal at the closing ceremonies, I found myself thinking not of Anna, but of my daughter, watching on television. I had to show her that Daddy was a proud American, no matter what place we'd made it to.
Remy. What was I going to do about her? I knew at some point I'd have to confront Anna about her sleeping with Carey, which I knew would result in breaking off the engagement. In a way, for Remy's sake, I thought about going to see a relationship counsellor after dealing with that. I wanted to stay with Anna, so that Remy would still have her mother around. I didn't want to break things between them.
Carey Price was a different story. I despised him for two reasons, the first being that he had slept with the mother of my child and wife to be, and secondly that he had driven Julie to attempt suicide. The second part made me angrier than the first. Somehow I knew Anna and I were detiorating, and my refusal of lovemaking for a long time didn't surprise me that she chose to cheat. My heart ached, knowing it truly was my own fault, and I probably deserved it. But what Carey did to Julie was the single most unnecessary act in the world. How could he hurt such a sweet and beautiful girl?
I ran my fingers through Julie's hair, listening to her breathing softly. I was more concerned for her than for myself, which didn't make too much sense. It was lucky that she'd called me and I'd caught her before it was too late. Thinking of this, I squeezed her tightly, a bit, just to make sure she was still there. Julie groaned in her sleep and snuggled up to me closer; her hand reaching up and grazing across my cheek.
"I like your stubble, Ryan..." Jules whispered in her sleep.
I chuckled a bit, "Thanks."
The last time Anna and I had stayed in bed like this was almost a year ago. I hardly remembered it. This kind of thing we used to do all the time, and shortly after Remy was born, things changed. Stress evolved. Waking up in the middle of the night became a chore. And we lost interest in each other.
Of course, the last time we'd really had sex was the second time I got Anna pregnant. We were both drunk at Drew Stafford's house during somebody's birthday celebration, and we both snuck off to the guest bedroom and locked ourselves in. We used no protection, and a couple months later (which was ironically, now), we found out about the pregnancy. I was happy to be becoming a father again and I immediately proposed to Anna.
I was slowly weaving my own mess, and now it had come full circle for me. But at this moment I didn't care. All I cared about was the small, shaking bundle next to me, begging for my attention. I held onto her tightly, promising not to leave that night.
Julia needed me.
Anna didn't.
-
*Anna's POV*
"...and seriously, the best part about being pregnant? Multiple orgasms."
Carey smirked, "I know. I've got the marks on my back to prove it."
I wrapped my legs around his, "Tell me, Price. Am I better than her?"
He lit a cigarette, "Oh yeah..."
I smiled and leaned back on the pillow. Two fucking hours of mind-blowing sex with Carey Price. Mmmhmm. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I was so sick and tired of the mindless, useless stuff with Ryan. Carey was different, exciting- and he gave me what I wanted. Several times.
"Julie doesn't let me smoke."
"Julie's a bitch sometimes," I sighed, "You can smoke if you want."
Carey laughed, "You don't think being thrown around by me is bad for your baby?"
I shrugged, "I didn't want another kid, to be honest."
Carey gave me a shocked look, "So you don't care....?"
"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."
I watched Carey blow a smoke ring. My phone suddenly went off. I jumped out of bed, naked of course, and looked at my phone. Ryan had texted me twice, asking where I was. I simply texted him back that I had gone shopping.
"Who was it?" Carey asked me.
I smirked, pulling the blankets back, "No one."
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
six: my heart only breaks when it's beating
Song: It only hurts when I breathe, Shania Twain
I was going out shopping with Max’s girlfriend, Chantal. Real sweetheart. I was meeting her at her and Max’s place. Max was a good friend of mine, and Chantal was one of the only girlfriends of the team that were near my age. Or that were at least nice enough to go shopping with.
“Hey” I smiled as she opened the door.
“Julia, hey!” she smiled, “how are you?”
“I’m good” I said stepping inside the door, “Max around?”
“At the gym” she said.
“Oh yah, Carey said he was heading over there too” I replied looking through my purse. I fished through it trying to find my phone, “Damn”
“What’s wrong?” she said picking up her bag.
“Forgot my phone at home, do you mind if I stop home and grab it?”
“Sure thing” she smiled throwing her bag over her shoulder.
We walked and talked as we made our way to the apartment. I unlocked the door and saw my phone sitting on the kitchen counter. As I moved back towards the door I heard a banging. I slowly walked down the hall and heard the noise coming from the bedroom. I was slow to open the door but I peeked in and saw a sight that would be burned into my brain.
Anna. Carey. Fucking like there was no tomorrow. I could feel the tears in my eyes and my hand slapped over my mouth. I quietly shut the door and slowly went back down the stairs to meet Chantal.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”
“Um, it’s ok. I don’t really want to talk about it. Do you think we could do this another time. Something just suddenly came up and I need to go”
“Ok” she replied with a bit of concern in her voice, “if you need anything just call me ok?”
“Ok, thanks” I sadly smiled. I grabbed my phone as I hurried towards anywhere but here. Somewhere far away from here. I dialled Ryan’s number, he was the only one I could think of.
“Ryan?” I said before he could say anything.
“Jules? You ok?”
“Can I see you please, there is something you need to know”
“Ok, just at the Best Western, room 345”
“Thank you”
I put my phone in my pocket and almost ran towards my destination. The tears were starting to flow and I did all I could to keep them from coming, keeping them from blurring my vision.
I made it to the hotel and took the elevator to the right floor. I was out of breath as I made it to his room and knocked on the door.
He opened the door and saw my tear streaked face and could hear my heavy breathing. On account I practically ran here.
“What’s going on?”
“I saw them” I said, “Anna. Carey, in bed, together, holy shit” I was barely breathing.
“Jules, breathe, are you sure?”
“Yes I’m fucking sure” I snapped, “fucking like neither of us even existed”
He just ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing. I sat against the wall with my knees up to my chest, letting out quiet sobs. I’ve never hurt so much in my life.
“Jules, did you just want to stay here for now?” he asked, “maybe take a shower? You can borrow some extra clothes”
“Ok” I nodded as he helped me up.
“I’ll be here…if you need anything”
“Thanks Ryan”
I stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I decided to take a bath, it would feel a lot better physically. Even if my heart was shattering inside my chest. I stripped down and sat into the warm water. It really did feel perfect. I sat there for a while, and looked down at the water, it wasn’t clear anymore, considering the fact I’ve been in there for almost an hour.
My mind started to come up with reasons why Carey would do something like this to me. Was I not enough? Did he not love me anymore? Was he doing this to spite Ryan? And Anna. I can’t believe she’d do this to me, or Ryan. They have a little girl and another one on the way. I don’t understand how either of them did what they did. I looked down at the water again and got the sudden urge to just put my head under, and stop breathing. Maybe if my heart stopped beating it wouldn’t hurt this much.
If Carey didn’t want me, then who did? What was the point of being here if nobody wanted me? I sucked in a breath and slowly dipped my head under. I didn’t panic when it was harder and harder to breathe. Suddenly, darkness.
*Ryan’s POV*
She was in there for a long time. She must have taken a bath, and I didn’t blame her. I didn’t hear anything going on, not even any movement. I knocked on the door hoping for a response, nothing.
“Jules, I’m coming in for a minute” I didn’t even hear her object. I opened the door quickly and didn’t see her. I looked around and got closer to the bathtub to see her under the water, it didn’t even look like she was moving. I ignored the fact she had no clothes on, reached in and pulled her out.
“Julie” I said tapping her cheek gently to see if she would wake up. Nothing. I put my fingers to check her vitals. Barely a pulse. I frantically wrapped her in a towel and laid her down on the floor. I did CPR, mouth to mouth anything I could to wake her up. After 2 of the longest minutes of my life she coughed up some water and slowly opened her eyes.
“Thank God” I muttered.
“What happened?” she said hoarsely.
“Julie you almost drowned” I replied, “What happened?”
She just looked down at the towel wrapped around her, “I just figured that if he didn’t want me, then who did?” You could see the tears brimming in her eyes and suddenly tears were falling from her eyes like a waterfall, and then the sobs. I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry. I didn’t care that my shirt was soaked, or that she was half naked, her hurt was my only concern.
She finally stopped and pulled away from me. I just gently wiped the few stray tears from her eyes and sadly smiled, “you need some warm clothes”. She just nodded as I took her hand and helped her up.
I grabbed a pair of sweats, a t-shirt and a Sabres hoodie. She didn’t care what team was on it at this point. She pulled her hair up in a bun on top of her head and pulled back the covers of the bed.
I moved towards the other bed when she grabbed my arm, “can you sleep here? I can’t sleep alone, not tonight” I was caught off guard but I agreed. I pulled off my t-shirt and jeans and was just in boxer shorts. I pulled back the covers on the other side and laid down beside her. It was honestly a bit awkward, Julie was one of my best friends. I felt her hand reach behind her and grab my arm and wrap it around her waist.
“I don’t bite” she said as she reached for the lamp to turn it off.
“You know he loves you” I whispered.
“No he doesn’t” she replied, “you didn’t see what I saw. It was like I never even meant anything to him, like I didn’t even exist”
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s not your fault”
“Never try and kill yourself again. I don’t know what I’d do with myself” I said quietly.
“I promise…only if you stay here…”
“I’m not going anywhere” I replied kissing the top of her head. Before I knew it, she was sound asleep.
I was going out shopping with Max’s girlfriend, Chantal. Real sweetheart. I was meeting her at her and Max’s place. Max was a good friend of mine, and Chantal was one of the only girlfriends of the team that were near my age. Or that were at least nice enough to go shopping with.
“Hey” I smiled as she opened the door.
“Julia, hey!” she smiled, “how are you?”
“I’m good” I said stepping inside the door, “Max around?”
“At the gym” she said.
“Oh yah, Carey said he was heading over there too” I replied looking through my purse. I fished through it trying to find my phone, “Damn”
“What’s wrong?” she said picking up her bag.
“Forgot my phone at home, do you mind if I stop home and grab it?”
“Sure thing” she smiled throwing her bag over her shoulder.
We walked and talked as we made our way to the apartment. I unlocked the door and saw my phone sitting on the kitchen counter. As I moved back towards the door I heard a banging. I slowly walked down the hall and heard the noise coming from the bedroom. I was slow to open the door but I peeked in and saw a sight that would be burned into my brain.
Anna. Carey. Fucking like there was no tomorrow. I could feel the tears in my eyes and my hand slapped over my mouth. I quietly shut the door and slowly went back down the stairs to meet Chantal.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”
“Um, it’s ok. I don’t really want to talk about it. Do you think we could do this another time. Something just suddenly came up and I need to go”
“Ok” she replied with a bit of concern in her voice, “if you need anything just call me ok?”
“Ok, thanks” I sadly smiled. I grabbed my phone as I hurried towards anywhere but here. Somewhere far away from here. I dialled Ryan’s number, he was the only one I could think of.
“Ryan?” I said before he could say anything.
“Jules? You ok?”
“Can I see you please, there is something you need to know”
“Ok, just at the Best Western, room 345”
“Thank you”
I put my phone in my pocket and almost ran towards my destination. The tears were starting to flow and I did all I could to keep them from coming, keeping them from blurring my vision.
I made it to the hotel and took the elevator to the right floor. I was out of breath as I made it to his room and knocked on the door.
He opened the door and saw my tear streaked face and could hear my heavy breathing. On account I practically ran here.
“What’s going on?”
“I saw them” I said, “Anna. Carey, in bed, together, holy shit” I was barely breathing.
“Jules, breathe, are you sure?”
“Yes I’m fucking sure” I snapped, “fucking like neither of us even existed”
He just ran his fingers through his hair and started pacing. I sat against the wall with my knees up to my chest, letting out quiet sobs. I’ve never hurt so much in my life.
“Jules, did you just want to stay here for now?” he asked, “maybe take a shower? You can borrow some extra clothes”
“Ok” I nodded as he helped me up.
“I’ll be here…if you need anything”
“Thanks Ryan”
I stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I decided to take a bath, it would feel a lot better physically. Even if my heart was shattering inside my chest. I stripped down and sat into the warm water. It really did feel perfect. I sat there for a while, and looked down at the water, it wasn’t clear anymore, considering the fact I’ve been in there for almost an hour.
My mind started to come up with reasons why Carey would do something like this to me. Was I not enough? Did he not love me anymore? Was he doing this to spite Ryan? And Anna. I can’t believe she’d do this to me, or Ryan. They have a little girl and another one on the way. I don’t understand how either of them did what they did. I looked down at the water again and got the sudden urge to just put my head under, and stop breathing. Maybe if my heart stopped beating it wouldn’t hurt this much.
If Carey didn’t want me, then who did? What was the point of being here if nobody wanted me? I sucked in a breath and slowly dipped my head under. I didn’t panic when it was harder and harder to breathe. Suddenly, darkness.
*Ryan’s POV*
She was in there for a long time. She must have taken a bath, and I didn’t blame her. I didn’t hear anything going on, not even any movement. I knocked on the door hoping for a response, nothing.
“Jules, I’m coming in for a minute” I didn’t even hear her object. I opened the door quickly and didn’t see her. I looked around and got closer to the bathtub to see her under the water, it didn’t even look like she was moving. I ignored the fact she had no clothes on, reached in and pulled her out.
“Julie” I said tapping her cheek gently to see if she would wake up. Nothing. I put my fingers to check her vitals. Barely a pulse. I frantically wrapped her in a towel and laid her down on the floor. I did CPR, mouth to mouth anything I could to wake her up. After 2 of the longest minutes of my life she coughed up some water and slowly opened her eyes.
“Thank God” I muttered.
“What happened?” she said hoarsely.
“Julie you almost drowned” I replied, “What happened?”
She just looked down at the towel wrapped around her, “I just figured that if he didn’t want me, then who did?” You could see the tears brimming in her eyes and suddenly tears were falling from her eyes like a waterfall, and then the sobs. I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry. I didn’t care that my shirt was soaked, or that she was half naked, her hurt was my only concern.
She finally stopped and pulled away from me. I just gently wiped the few stray tears from her eyes and sadly smiled, “you need some warm clothes”. She just nodded as I took her hand and helped her up.
I grabbed a pair of sweats, a t-shirt and a Sabres hoodie. She didn’t care what team was on it at this point. She pulled her hair up in a bun on top of her head and pulled back the covers of the bed.
I moved towards the other bed when she grabbed my arm, “can you sleep here? I can’t sleep alone, not tonight” I was caught off guard but I agreed. I pulled off my t-shirt and jeans and was just in boxer shorts. I pulled back the covers on the other side and laid down beside her. It was honestly a bit awkward, Julie was one of my best friends. I felt her hand reach behind her and grab my arm and wrap it around her waist.
“I don’t bite” she said as she reached for the lamp to turn it off.
“You know he loves you” I whispered.
“No he doesn’t” she replied, “you didn’t see what I saw. It was like I never even meant anything to him, like I didn’t even exist”
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s not your fault”
“Never try and kill yourself again. I don’t know what I’d do with myself” I said quietly.
“I promise…only if you stay here…”
“I’m not going anywhere” I replied kissing the top of her head. Before I knew it, she was sound asleep.
five: I can do whatever I want, like you.
song: indiana by meg & dia
*Anna's POV*
I got up at around noon, finally able to get out of bed. I badly needed a shower after the night I'd had. Casually, I wandered into the bathroom and turned on the water, stripping off my clothes. Just before stepping in, I felt Carey behind me.
"You wanna get clean or dirty?" he whispered, cupping my breasts with his hands. I groaned, feeling him kiss me all over my neck.
"Both."
I removed his boxers and pulled him in with me. We must've stayed in there for an hour or two at the most. Like last night, it was pretty amazing. I had no idea that Price knew how to use the shower head on me so spectacularly. I hoped the people next to us didn't have to endure the screaming.
"When will I see you again?" Carey asked as we dried off.
I shrugged, "When do you want to see me?"
Carey pursed his lips, "It's going to be tough, you know, not letting Julie or Ryan find out."
"That's ok," I told him, "Makes it more fun, now doesn't it?"
He grinned mischievously, "Text me?"
I grabbed his face and kissed him hard, "I will."
-
*Ryan's POV*
Dropping Remy off at school was hard on me. I tried to keep my composure in front of my daughter, but with all honesty I was breaking inside. Where was she? Why had she up and left? Was it because of me? My mind was filled with unanswered questions.
Finally, just as I pulled into the driveway, my phone rang.
"Where are you?" I demanded.
"I went for a walk, baby," Anna replied, "Really early."
"At 5:00 am?!"
"Yes. I needed to clear my head." She laughed; a laugh I'd never heard before. "You worry too much. Be home in a few minutes."
"I worry because you're pregnant." I told her, soon afterwards I realized she'd already hung up.
This was most definitely my fault. Anna was angry and frustrated with me. I couldn't understand why I had said no to her last night. I mean, I WAS tired, but Anna only wanted a mere few minutes. Couldn't be so bad.
We didn't have practice until the next day. I decided that maybe I could find a way to redeem myself with Anna- and save us from having more unnecessary fights. So, going in the house, I found some candles, changed the sheets on the bed and closed the shade in our room. I waited quietly for Anna to show up.
I heard her walking up the stairs, and within thirty seconds she appeared in the doorway.
"Hey," I said, trying to sound sexy.
Anna smiled a bit, "Hey." She walked over to the bed and flopped down.
I blinked at her in shock. Did she not...want me?
"Annie?"
"I'm sorry," she said tiredly, "I'm just really sleepy."
I sighed, "Ok. That's cool."
I blew out the candles, "Do you want me to sleep next to you for a little while? Maybe we could cuddle?"
Anna didn't respond. She was already sleeping.
I sighed and wandered out of the room, feeling dejected and pretty pathetic. Now I had no idea what to do. As far as I was concerned, the relationship was headed to a bad spot. What's worse, I had no idea what I was going to tell Remy. "Oh, Mommy went out for a late-night walk," did exactly sound like the best thing to say. I had to set a good example for my daughter.
Remy was my entire world. I would give up anything and everything for her. I loved her like I loved no one. The fear I felt for her was uncanny. My little girl was in no way going to find out that her mother was wandering the streets of Buffalo late at night...or early in the morning, however long she was gone.
My wedding band gleamed under the light as I went down the stairs and collapsed on the couch. Something didn't feel right with Anna. I knew that somehow there was a missing piece to the puzzle. Of course, I had no idea where to start looking.
-
*Carey's POV*
I could not wait for this day to come. It had been the longest week and a half of my life. Well, having all those issues with Julie and whatnot, I was sick of having the same conversations- and the same boring make-up sex. Now I was finally going to get what I had been craving for what seemed like forever.
Jules was going to make a run to the supermarket, and then out shopping with Max Lapierre's girlfriend. I told her I was heading to the gym, but not until noon. She kissed me goodbye and headed out.
I pulled out my phone and texted Anna.
COAST IS CLEAR. COME & GET IT ;)
Fifteen minutes later, I heard a knock on the apartment door. I practically jumped off the couch, knowing exactly who it was. There she was, looking hotter than ever in a low-cut top and high heels. She silenced me right away.
We closed the door behind us as she pushed me to the bedroom. I devoured her mouth, feeling the excitement in my pants. Anna put her hand on my hard-on, grinning. As I fell back onto the bed, I knew what was coming next.
Anna stood up and closed the bedroom door, dropping her skirt and showing off a spectacular garter and stockings. I jumped up and pulled off her top, glad to see her magnificent pair of breasts in a lacy, barely-there bra. She looked fantastic.
She crawled on top of me, showing that her underwear was bottomless- this girl was ready for action!
"You ready, Price?" Anna asked, stroking the side of my face.
I licked my lips and pulled her forward to my face, "Hell yeah."
*Anna's POV*
I got up at around noon, finally able to get out of bed. I badly needed a shower after the night I'd had. Casually, I wandered into the bathroom and turned on the water, stripping off my clothes. Just before stepping in, I felt Carey behind me.
"You wanna get clean or dirty?" he whispered, cupping my breasts with his hands. I groaned, feeling him kiss me all over my neck.
"Both."
I removed his boxers and pulled him in with me. We must've stayed in there for an hour or two at the most. Like last night, it was pretty amazing. I had no idea that Price knew how to use the shower head on me so spectacularly. I hoped the people next to us didn't have to endure the screaming.
"When will I see you again?" Carey asked as we dried off.
I shrugged, "When do you want to see me?"
Carey pursed his lips, "It's going to be tough, you know, not letting Julie or Ryan find out."
"That's ok," I told him, "Makes it more fun, now doesn't it?"
He grinned mischievously, "Text me?"
I grabbed his face and kissed him hard, "I will."
-
*Ryan's POV*
Dropping Remy off at school was hard on me. I tried to keep my composure in front of my daughter, but with all honesty I was breaking inside. Where was she? Why had she up and left? Was it because of me? My mind was filled with unanswered questions.
Finally, just as I pulled into the driveway, my phone rang.
"Where are you?" I demanded.
"I went for a walk, baby," Anna replied, "Really early."
"At 5:00 am?!"
"Yes. I needed to clear my head." She laughed; a laugh I'd never heard before. "You worry too much. Be home in a few minutes."
"I worry because you're pregnant." I told her, soon afterwards I realized she'd already hung up.
This was most definitely my fault. Anna was angry and frustrated with me. I couldn't understand why I had said no to her last night. I mean, I WAS tired, but Anna only wanted a mere few minutes. Couldn't be so bad.
We didn't have practice until the next day. I decided that maybe I could find a way to redeem myself with Anna- and save us from having more unnecessary fights. So, going in the house, I found some candles, changed the sheets on the bed and closed the shade in our room. I waited quietly for Anna to show up.
I heard her walking up the stairs, and within thirty seconds she appeared in the doorway.
"Hey," I said, trying to sound sexy.
Anna smiled a bit, "Hey." She walked over to the bed and flopped down.
I blinked at her in shock. Did she not...want me?
"Annie?"
"I'm sorry," she said tiredly, "I'm just really sleepy."
I sighed, "Ok. That's cool."
I blew out the candles, "Do you want me to sleep next to you for a little while? Maybe we could cuddle?"
Anna didn't respond. She was already sleeping.
I sighed and wandered out of the room, feeling dejected and pretty pathetic. Now I had no idea what to do. As far as I was concerned, the relationship was headed to a bad spot. What's worse, I had no idea what I was going to tell Remy. "Oh, Mommy went out for a late-night walk," did exactly sound like the best thing to say. I had to set a good example for my daughter.
Remy was my entire world. I would give up anything and everything for her. I loved her like I loved no one. The fear I felt for her was uncanny. My little girl was in no way going to find out that her mother was wandering the streets of Buffalo late at night...or early in the morning, however long she was gone.
My wedding band gleamed under the light as I went down the stairs and collapsed on the couch. Something didn't feel right with Anna. I knew that somehow there was a missing piece to the puzzle. Of course, I had no idea where to start looking.
-
*Carey's POV*
I could not wait for this day to come. It had been the longest week and a half of my life. Well, having all those issues with Julie and whatnot, I was sick of having the same conversations- and the same boring make-up sex. Now I was finally going to get what I had been craving for what seemed like forever.
Jules was going to make a run to the supermarket, and then out shopping with Max Lapierre's girlfriend. I told her I was heading to the gym, but not until noon. She kissed me goodbye and headed out.
I pulled out my phone and texted Anna.
COAST IS CLEAR. COME & GET IT ;)
Fifteen minutes later, I heard a knock on the apartment door. I practically jumped off the couch, knowing exactly who it was. There she was, looking hotter than ever in a low-cut top and high heels. She silenced me right away.
We closed the door behind us as she pushed me to the bedroom. I devoured her mouth, feeling the excitement in my pants. Anna put her hand on my hard-on, grinning. As I fell back onto the bed, I knew what was coming next.
Anna stood up and closed the bedroom door, dropping her skirt and showing off a spectacular garter and stockings. I jumped up and pulled off her top, glad to see her magnificent pair of breasts in a lacy, barely-there bra. She looked fantastic.
She crawled on top of me, showing that her underwear was bottomless- this girl was ready for action!
"You ready, Price?" Anna asked, stroking the side of my face.
I licked my lips and pulled her forward to my face, "Hell yeah."
four: are all those memories so easy to forget?
Song: If You Don't Love Me, Jason Blaine
I was so tired, I barely got any sleep that night. Maybe a couple hours at the most. I knew I had to drive back to Montreal, but I also knew that trying to stay here longer and sleep wouldn’t do any good, because I wouldn’t sleep.
I packed up my things and went down to the small restaurant in the hotel. I grabbed myself a large coffee and sat for a bit, going back through my head what happened between Carey and I.
I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I looked at the name, Ryan. I was caught off guard that he was calling me, but I answered anyways.
“Hey” I said, “What’s up?”
“Have you talked to Annie?” he asked, “No Rems we are not getting ice cream at 8am”
I just laughed, “Um, no I haven’t, why?”
“She wasn’t home when I woke up this morning”
“Oh…that’s not like her. She hasn’t even called or texted me”
“Oh, maybe she just decided to stay somewhere else…”
“Don’t worry Ryan, everything will be just fine”
I looked up as I said that and swore I saw Anna walking through the hotel. I shook my head and she was gone. It couldn’t have been, I’m running on 2 hours of sleep, I’m hallucinating.
“DADDY, WHERE IS MOMMY!?” I heard on the other end.
“Sorry Julie” you could hear him set the phone down, “Mommy is gone right now sweetie” he said quietly, “I’m taking you to school this morning okay?”
You could hear rustling as he picked up the phone and his voice came on again, “Sorry about that, I should go, just let me know if you hear anything, she won’t answer her phone”
“I will, talk to you soon Ryan”
I set my phone down on the table, hoping to hear from Carey, but I wasn’t getting anything, maybe I should just call him myself. I went to dial but I hesitated and set the phone down, maybe he wouldn’t want to hear from me right now. Maybe it’s just best I let him do his thing and see him tonight.
I took a last gulp of my coffee and threw the cup in the trash. I grabbed my bag and found my car in the parking lot, throwing my things into the back. I plugged in my ipod and turned on some Kings of Leon. They really knew how to make me feel better.
It was all I listened to as I drove back to Montreal. It’s all I could listen to because everything else would make me cry. I made it back to Montreal safely, no falling asleep, I was pretty proud of myself. It was close to 2 once I made it to my apartment, maybe being home I’d be able to get some sleep, it would also help get my mind off of all of this.
My eyes opened and the clock said 6:03. Great, I was going to be late for the game. I cleaned myself up and grabbed my keys, driving through the stand still traffic to get to the Bell Centre.
I walked down towards the dressing room and saw Carey, I didn’t find myself smiling or even feeling anything when I saw him. When his eyes fell on me, he had a look of fear, or maybe it was guilt. Why?
“Hey baby…” he said hesitating but giving me a gentle hug.
“You ok?”
“Just tired” he said quickly, “Why?”
“You just don’t seem like yourself”
He looked nervous now, like I was getting closer to the truth. I didn’t even know what truth I was looking for.
“Seriously, what’s going on Carey?”
“I promise, it’s nothing” he said reassuringly. He looked down at the phone in his hand and slightly smiled and then looked back up at me.
“I know you too well to know it’s not nothing. You’re scaring me…”
“It’s not you ok? I promise, it’s just…my sister”
I didn’t press the issue, “fine. I’ll see you after the game”
I just swallowed a lump in my throat and walked in the direction of the box. I just sat down and watched as the team came out for warm-ups. I knew he wasn’t starting so Halak would be warming up with the team. I didn’t know what was going on anymore. He was keeping something from me, I could feel it.
*Carey’s POV*
It wasn’t my sister. It was Anna. I knew very well what I was doing wasn’t exactly…right. At the same time, I was lonely. Anna was something different, new for a change. Four years with Julie was honestly getting boring. I did love her, at one point, but I just don’t think it was there anymore.
Ryan? Why the hell should I care what I did to Ryan? Ryan didn’t care what he did to me. He had everything and I didn’t have nearly close to what he had. I will take it all away from him if I can.
“We’re coming to Montreal at the beginning of the month, I’m sure we can plan something for then ; )” is what she put. All I could do was smirk but it was a mischievous smirk.
This sneaking around thing was really fun. I knew she was unhappy with Ryan and I was unhappy with Julie. In fact all it is, is two lonely people having a good time. There’s no love at all. But I’ll take it, because Julie never gave me what Anna did give me in one night.
I was so tired, I barely got any sleep that night. Maybe a couple hours at the most. I knew I had to drive back to Montreal, but I also knew that trying to stay here longer and sleep wouldn’t do any good, because I wouldn’t sleep.
I packed up my things and went down to the small restaurant in the hotel. I grabbed myself a large coffee and sat for a bit, going back through my head what happened between Carey and I.
I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I looked at the name, Ryan. I was caught off guard that he was calling me, but I answered anyways.
“Hey” I said, “What’s up?”
“Have you talked to Annie?” he asked, “No Rems we are not getting ice cream at 8am”
I just laughed, “Um, no I haven’t, why?”
“She wasn’t home when I woke up this morning”
“Oh…that’s not like her. She hasn’t even called or texted me”
“Oh, maybe she just decided to stay somewhere else…”
“Don’t worry Ryan, everything will be just fine”
I looked up as I said that and swore I saw Anna walking through the hotel. I shook my head and she was gone. It couldn’t have been, I’m running on 2 hours of sleep, I’m hallucinating.
“DADDY, WHERE IS MOMMY!?” I heard on the other end.
“Sorry Julie” you could hear him set the phone down, “Mommy is gone right now sweetie” he said quietly, “I’m taking you to school this morning okay?”
You could hear rustling as he picked up the phone and his voice came on again, “Sorry about that, I should go, just let me know if you hear anything, she won’t answer her phone”
“I will, talk to you soon Ryan”
I set my phone down on the table, hoping to hear from Carey, but I wasn’t getting anything, maybe I should just call him myself. I went to dial but I hesitated and set the phone down, maybe he wouldn’t want to hear from me right now. Maybe it’s just best I let him do his thing and see him tonight.
I took a last gulp of my coffee and threw the cup in the trash. I grabbed my bag and found my car in the parking lot, throwing my things into the back. I plugged in my ipod and turned on some Kings of Leon. They really knew how to make me feel better.
It was all I listened to as I drove back to Montreal. It’s all I could listen to because everything else would make me cry. I made it back to Montreal safely, no falling asleep, I was pretty proud of myself. It was close to 2 once I made it to my apartment, maybe being home I’d be able to get some sleep, it would also help get my mind off of all of this.
My eyes opened and the clock said 6:03. Great, I was going to be late for the game. I cleaned myself up and grabbed my keys, driving through the stand still traffic to get to the Bell Centre.
I walked down towards the dressing room and saw Carey, I didn’t find myself smiling or even feeling anything when I saw him. When his eyes fell on me, he had a look of fear, or maybe it was guilt. Why?
“Hey baby…” he said hesitating but giving me a gentle hug.
“You ok?”
“Just tired” he said quickly, “Why?”
“You just don’t seem like yourself”
He looked nervous now, like I was getting closer to the truth. I didn’t even know what truth I was looking for.
“Seriously, what’s going on Carey?”
“I promise, it’s nothing” he said reassuringly. He looked down at the phone in his hand and slightly smiled and then looked back up at me.
“I know you too well to know it’s not nothing. You’re scaring me…”
“It’s not you ok? I promise, it’s just…my sister”
I didn’t press the issue, “fine. I’ll see you after the game”
I just swallowed a lump in my throat and walked in the direction of the box. I just sat down and watched as the team came out for warm-ups. I knew he wasn’t starting so Halak would be warming up with the team. I didn’t know what was going on anymore. He was keeping something from me, I could feel it.
*Carey’s POV*
It wasn’t my sister. It was Anna. I knew very well what I was doing wasn’t exactly…right. At the same time, I was lonely. Anna was something different, new for a change. Four years with Julie was honestly getting boring. I did love her, at one point, but I just don’t think it was there anymore.
Ryan? Why the hell should I care what I did to Ryan? Ryan didn’t care what he did to me. He had everything and I didn’t have nearly close to what he had. I will take it all away from him if I can.
“We’re coming to Montreal at the beginning of the month, I’m sure we can plan something for then ; )” is what she put. All I could do was smirk but it was a mischievous smirk.
This sneaking around thing was really fun. I knew she was unhappy with Ryan and I was unhappy with Julie. In fact all it is, is two lonely people having a good time. There’s no love at all. But I’ll take it, because Julie never gave me what Anna did give me in one night.
Monday, March 29, 2010
three: just turn around boy, let me hit that
song: blah blah blah by ke$ha
STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SEXUAL/EXPLICIT MATERIAL.
THE FOLLOWING IS RATED 18 +.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Anna's POV
I was getting pretty fed up with Ryan. I didn’t understand why he was so distant from me. Well, the playoffs were coming up and he was still hurting over the Olympic loss, but I was pregnant- he should be paying most of his attention to me! At least, that was how I felt.
5:00 am rolled around and I had been awake all night. Frustrated, I flipped open my phone. At this point I was downstairs, trying to sleep on the couch. Ryan didn’t care anyways. Just as I was about to text Julie out of desperation, I got a message:
CANT SLEEP. HAD A FIGHT WITH JULIE LAST NIGHT. :(
It was Carey. I quickly texted him back.
IS SHE THERE WITH U?
He replied:
NO, SHE JUST WENT HOME. IM NOT GOING HOME UNTIL LATER 2DAY.
I smiled knowingly.
U NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO?
Quickly he responded.
YES.
I headed to the garage to grab the keys.
WHICH HOTEL U AT?
I didn’t give a damn that it was almost time for the sun to rise. Carey needed me. Well, that and I was so angry at Ryan that I didn’t care anymore. I wanted some kind of distraction, even if it was Carey.
The Best Western Inn was easily one of the nicest places in Buffalo, so it was easy to find. I parked the Range Rover, locked it and headed to the lobby. Telling the front desk I was there to see a friend, I went to the fourth floor and knocked on room 498.
Carey was standing there, in his boxers and a t-shirt, looking worried. I pulled him into a hug. “Thanks for coming,” he whispered, “I’m sorry it’s so late...or early, I guess.”
“It’s ok, I have nothing better to do anyway,” I said quickly, closing the door behind me.
The hotel room was an organized mess, and I could tell he'd just taken his stuff from Julie's room and chucked it. I sat down on the bed across from Carey, waiting for him to speak. His sad eyes told me I’d be speaking first.
“So, what happened?”
Carey shrugged, “Huge fight. I was supposed to fly out with the team tonight, but I really don't feel like facing them. Julie said we'd talk at home, and she just left, but she doesn't know I've stayed behind...not that it matters." Carey chewed on his lower lip. "I just don't know what to do anymore, we're fighting more often, maybe we're just not in love like we used to be.”
I gave him a sympathetic look, “I know how you feel....Ryan and I have been having alot of problems lately....” I bit my lip. “Like, an hour ago...”
“Yeah?”
“Nevermind. It’s not that important anyway.”
Carey came and sat next to me, “You can tell me, Annie.”
I felt so safe next to him, “Well, being pregnant and all, naturally my body is craving things. This is so embarrassing, but Ryan won't have sex with me, and I want it so bad, but he always says no.”
“Oh....well...”
I threw my arms in the air, “I just don’t get it! Am I not attractive anymore or something? Are my boobs not big enough?”
He said something I didn’t expect, “Anna, you're beautiful, don't say anything different. You know he gets stressed, I've been known to deny Julie now and then...she's just so desperate for a kid...” Carey rested his chin in his hands.
I sighed, “Yeah, I don’t know why. Well, I guess I should fret, Ryan wasn't all that good anyway. I just threw him around and such.” I smirked. “I’m a tad controlling. I like things rough.”
Carey raised his eyebrows. That was when it started.
Carey’s POV
Anna grabbed me by the shoulders, pushed be back on the bed and started to kiss me- hard. I couldn’t move, I was mesmerized- Julie was always so sweet and loving, not like take-control Anna. In my heart, I knew this was wrong. I should never cheat on the one I love.
But then, I didn’t love Julie anymore, did I?
The loss was devastating, and the more I thought about it, the more jealous I was of Ryan Miller- he was a veteran, he had all these fans, he was making it. Now, here was the chance to take it all away from him. Make him crumble. I’d show him that I was better at something that he wasn’t.
I flipped us over and snarled at Anna, “And what do you think you’re doing?”
She gave me an innocent little smile, “Oh, nothing.”
Anna wiggled her way out and switched off the lights. I felt her force me back down, and I will admit I loved every minute of it. She practically tore off my boxers and shirt.
My entire body started to writhe as I felt her mouth take me in. I closed my eyes, moaning in the dark. Julie always said that it was gross, that she’d never do it. But Anna was, and the feelings were amazing. I felt her suck on the tip, pumping the rest of me. I grasped the sheets, trying hard not to come. I had to hold back for later. In shock I felt her take me in completely. This girl had talent!
“Did you like that, Price?” she whispered sexily, “Do you want some more?”
“Please...” I practically whimpered.
I could hear her smirk in the dark, and I knew I was in for it- she started up again, but faster. I begged her to stop, or at least slow down. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. This was absolute torture, and the sweetest kind.
At long last, she stopped. I got up quickly and grabbed her by the hips, pulling off her skirt and underwear. I buried my face in between her legs, eager to return the favour. I didn’t care that she was screaming, pulling my hair and moving her hips. She was getting pay back.
“CAREY...FUCKING...PRICE!” Anna moaned, “Give it to me!”
I sucked on her clit, sometimes biting it, tasting the more she released. The effect was surreal. Anna was almost out of breath as I rose up, licking my lips of her juices. That was another thing I had wanted to, but never done with Julie.
She hissed in the dark, “Is that all you’ve got?”
I responded by tearing off her shirt and bra, sucking on her nipples as hard as I could. Anna loved it, grabbing my dick and pumping me harder. I felt her clawing at my neck, the pain worth the pleasure. It got to a point where I realized I didn’t have any condoms.
“It doesn’t matter,” Anna told me, putting me inside of her, “Mmmm...”
The moment I slipped inside, Anna started bouncing. I held onto her hips, nearly dying as the pleasure hit me like a giant wave. I flipped us over and thrusted in and out of her, making her dig her nails into my back. I started biting her neck, loving it.
“Fuck me, Price!” Anna screamed, “Fuck me harder than you fuck her!”
I pulled myself almost completely out and then slammed back into her, sending us both over the edge.
“OH YES, OH YES! FUCK YEAH, PRICEY BOY!” Anna whispered harshly in my ear as I emptied myself inside of her. It was so much pleasure I had nearly no idea what to do with it. I pushed my mouth to hers, tonguing her, finally pulling out and lying breathless next to Anna.
“We....we just had sex...” Anna said after a moment.
“Yeah...” I said, sighing, “And it was incredible.”
It was at least five minutes before Anna brought herself to below my hips.
“Let’s do it again,” she whispered, swirling her tongue around my already-hard tip.
I leaned back and sighed, “Yeah...”
At that point, the last thing on my mind was flying back to Montreal in a couple hours. And even further away than last, was Julie. Ryan, eat your fucking black heart out.
STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY SEXUAL/EXPLICIT MATERIAL.
THE FOLLOWING IS RATED 18 +.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Anna's POV
I was getting pretty fed up with Ryan. I didn’t understand why he was so distant from me. Well, the playoffs were coming up and he was still hurting over the Olympic loss, but I was pregnant- he should be paying most of his attention to me! At least, that was how I felt.
5:00 am rolled around and I had been awake all night. Frustrated, I flipped open my phone. At this point I was downstairs, trying to sleep on the couch. Ryan didn’t care anyways. Just as I was about to text Julie out of desperation, I got a message:
CANT SLEEP. HAD A FIGHT WITH JULIE LAST NIGHT. :(
It was Carey. I quickly texted him back.
IS SHE THERE WITH U?
He replied:
NO, SHE JUST WENT HOME. IM NOT GOING HOME UNTIL LATER 2DAY.
I smiled knowingly.
U NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO?
Quickly he responded.
YES.
I headed to the garage to grab the keys.
WHICH HOTEL U AT?
I didn’t give a damn that it was almost time for the sun to rise. Carey needed me. Well, that and I was so angry at Ryan that I didn’t care anymore. I wanted some kind of distraction, even if it was Carey.
The Best Western Inn was easily one of the nicest places in Buffalo, so it was easy to find. I parked the Range Rover, locked it and headed to the lobby. Telling the front desk I was there to see a friend, I went to the fourth floor and knocked on room 498.
Carey was standing there, in his boxers and a t-shirt, looking worried. I pulled him into a hug. “Thanks for coming,” he whispered, “I’m sorry it’s so late...or early, I guess.”
“It’s ok, I have nothing better to do anyway,” I said quickly, closing the door behind me.
The hotel room was an organized mess, and I could tell he'd just taken his stuff from Julie's room and chucked it. I sat down on the bed across from Carey, waiting for him to speak. His sad eyes told me I’d be speaking first.
“So, what happened?”
Carey shrugged, “Huge fight. I was supposed to fly out with the team tonight, but I really don't feel like facing them. Julie said we'd talk at home, and she just left, but she doesn't know I've stayed behind...not that it matters." Carey chewed on his lower lip. "I just don't know what to do anymore, we're fighting more often, maybe we're just not in love like we used to be.”
I gave him a sympathetic look, “I know how you feel....Ryan and I have been having alot of problems lately....” I bit my lip. “Like, an hour ago...”
“Yeah?”
“Nevermind. It’s not that important anyway.”
Carey came and sat next to me, “You can tell me, Annie.”
I felt so safe next to him, “Well, being pregnant and all, naturally my body is craving things. This is so embarrassing, but Ryan won't have sex with me, and I want it so bad, but he always says no.”
“Oh....well...”
I threw my arms in the air, “I just don’t get it! Am I not attractive anymore or something? Are my boobs not big enough?”
He said something I didn’t expect, “Anna, you're beautiful, don't say anything different. You know he gets stressed, I've been known to deny Julie now and then...she's just so desperate for a kid...” Carey rested his chin in his hands.
I sighed, “Yeah, I don’t know why. Well, I guess I should fret, Ryan wasn't all that good anyway. I just threw him around and such.” I smirked. “I’m a tad controlling. I like things rough.”
Carey raised his eyebrows. That was when it started.
Carey’s POV
Anna grabbed me by the shoulders, pushed be back on the bed and started to kiss me- hard. I couldn’t move, I was mesmerized- Julie was always so sweet and loving, not like take-control Anna. In my heart, I knew this was wrong. I should never cheat on the one I love.
But then, I didn’t love Julie anymore, did I?
The loss was devastating, and the more I thought about it, the more jealous I was of Ryan Miller- he was a veteran, he had all these fans, he was making it. Now, here was the chance to take it all away from him. Make him crumble. I’d show him that I was better at something that he wasn’t.
I flipped us over and snarled at Anna, “And what do you think you’re doing?”
She gave me an innocent little smile, “Oh, nothing.”
Anna wiggled her way out and switched off the lights. I felt her force me back down, and I will admit I loved every minute of it. She practically tore off my boxers and shirt.
My entire body started to writhe as I felt her mouth take me in. I closed my eyes, moaning in the dark. Julie always said that it was gross, that she’d never do it. But Anna was, and the feelings were amazing. I felt her suck on the tip, pumping the rest of me. I grasped the sheets, trying hard not to come. I had to hold back for later. In shock I felt her take me in completely. This girl had talent!
“Did you like that, Price?” she whispered sexily, “Do you want some more?”
“Please...” I practically whimpered.
I could hear her smirk in the dark, and I knew I was in for it- she started up again, but faster. I begged her to stop, or at least slow down. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. This was absolute torture, and the sweetest kind.
At long last, she stopped. I got up quickly and grabbed her by the hips, pulling off her skirt and underwear. I buried my face in between her legs, eager to return the favour. I didn’t care that she was screaming, pulling my hair and moving her hips. She was getting pay back.
“CAREY...FUCKING...PRICE!” Anna moaned, “Give it to me!”
I sucked on her clit, sometimes biting it, tasting the more she released. The effect was surreal. Anna was almost out of breath as I rose up, licking my lips of her juices. That was another thing I had wanted to, but never done with Julie.
She hissed in the dark, “Is that all you’ve got?”
I responded by tearing off her shirt and bra, sucking on her nipples as hard as I could. Anna loved it, grabbing my dick and pumping me harder. I felt her clawing at my neck, the pain worth the pleasure. It got to a point where I realized I didn’t have any condoms.
“It doesn’t matter,” Anna told me, putting me inside of her, “Mmmm...”
The moment I slipped inside, Anna started bouncing. I held onto her hips, nearly dying as the pleasure hit me like a giant wave. I flipped us over and thrusted in and out of her, making her dig her nails into my back. I started biting her neck, loving it.
“Fuck me, Price!” Anna screamed, “Fuck me harder than you fuck her!”
I pulled myself almost completely out and then slammed back into her, sending us both over the edge.
“OH YES, OH YES! FUCK YEAH, PRICEY BOY!” Anna whispered harshly in my ear as I emptied myself inside of her. It was so much pleasure I had nearly no idea what to do with it. I pushed my mouth to hers, tonguing her, finally pulling out and lying breathless next to Anna.
“We....we just had sex...” Anna said after a moment.
“Yeah...” I said, sighing, “And it was incredible.”
It was at least five minutes before Anna brought herself to below my hips.
“Let’s do it again,” she whispered, swirling her tongue around my already-hard tip.
I leaned back and sighed, “Yeah...”
At that point, the last thing on my mind was flying back to Montreal in a couple hours. And even further away than last, was Julie. Ryan, eat your fucking black heart out.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
two : i want to believe when you tell me that it will be ok
Song: Tomorrow, Avril Lavigne
*Julie’s POV*
All of this was starting to hit me. I was jealous of Anna and Ryan. Kids. They were as happy as ever, and I didn’t feel like I had that with Carey. I loved him with my whole heart, but something was missing.
I sat cross legged on the bed of his hotel room while he got his things ready to head back to Montreal. You could see how much it was bothering him, how much he was hurting. Even the black eye was getting worse.
I sat up on my knees and grabbed his arm to stop him. I put my hand on his eye and he winced in pain.
“Why?” I finally said.
“What?”
“Why can’t we have what they have?”
“What are you talking about baby?” he said quietly reaching over for my hand.
I felt my skin tingle under his touch and I just looked down at his hand in mine, “Kids, marriage soon, they have it all. We’ve been together for 4 years, and we don’t have anything close to what they have”
“I love you Jules, everything about you, with everything I have…”
“I love you too”
“Then stop doubting us, we’ll have our time. I want a family with you, and it will soon come, okay? I promise. Don’t fret, I hate seeing you upset”
“Why were you fighting?” I asked him, “I thought you guys were friends?”
“Everything just got way too personal” he sighed.
I just frowned, “we’re friends with them though. We always have been, what’s changed?”
“A lot has changed” he said.
“Why?”
“Things change Jules. It’s life. I’m sorry how it happened, but I’m not sorry for what I said. He really pissed me off”
I just sat back down on the bed and sighed. He stopped what he was doing and sat down beside me. I just felt his hand graze my cheek and I got goosebumps. After all this time together he still made me weak in the knees.
*Carey’s POV*
I could see how much she was hurting, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. This whole thing with Ryan really put her over the edge, and the whole idea of a family, after seeing Anna and Ryan, really excited me. At the same time, it scared the shit out of me.
I just tucked a piece of hair behind her ear while I watched her stare into space. I didn’t like what this was doing to her.
“Jules?“ she finally turned her head and a small smile appeared on her lips, “I think you need to stay here and get some sleep. You can take a flight back tomorrow”
“I’m not going unless I’m going with you”
“Sweetie, you’re absolutely exhausted. Sleep, come home tomorrow, plus, we have a game tomorrow night”
“Are you playing?”
“I doubt on back to back games, plus I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m blamed for that loss…”
“You didn’t lose that game” she said, “they lost that game. You played your ass off and made 40 amazing saves ok? Don’t blame yourself”
“We just let them--”
“Hey. I will not sit here and watch you beat yourself up for that. Do not say ‘we’, because you played hard, they played hard until the last two minutes when it counted. When you deserved a shutout”
I just sighed. I knew she meant well but after all that there wasn’t a whole lot that convinced me otherwise. I keep thinking “what if”. What if I had done one little thing different that have changed the course of the game? Maybe I would have gotten a shutout. Maybe we would have won.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
“What if…”
“Don’t start that on me again” she huffed, “maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll just sleep here and see you tomorrow, it’s not a long drive. You go with whoever it is you go with to the bus, I’ll take the car back”
“Ok…”
“I love you Carey, don’t forget that”
I just leaned down and gently placed my lips on hers, “Never. I love you too”
“I’ll see you in Montreal. I’ll stop by before the game ” she said.
“See you then” I gently smiled in her direction and was out the door. I didn’t like leaving her like that, but I had to go. I just hoped everything that happened didn’t change things between us. I wouldn’t be able to stand losing her.
*Julie’s POV*
All of this was starting to hit me. I was jealous of Anna and Ryan. Kids. They were as happy as ever, and I didn’t feel like I had that with Carey. I loved him with my whole heart, but something was missing.
I sat cross legged on the bed of his hotel room while he got his things ready to head back to Montreal. You could see how much it was bothering him, how much he was hurting. Even the black eye was getting worse.
I sat up on my knees and grabbed his arm to stop him. I put my hand on his eye and he winced in pain.
“Why?” I finally said.
“What?”
“Why can’t we have what they have?”
“What are you talking about baby?” he said quietly reaching over for my hand.
I felt my skin tingle under his touch and I just looked down at his hand in mine, “Kids, marriage soon, they have it all. We’ve been together for 4 years, and we don’t have anything close to what they have”
“I love you Jules, everything about you, with everything I have…”
“I love you too”
“Then stop doubting us, we’ll have our time. I want a family with you, and it will soon come, okay? I promise. Don’t fret, I hate seeing you upset”
“Why were you fighting?” I asked him, “I thought you guys were friends?”
“Everything just got way too personal” he sighed.
I just frowned, “we’re friends with them though. We always have been, what’s changed?”
“A lot has changed” he said.
“Why?”
“Things change Jules. It’s life. I’m sorry how it happened, but I’m not sorry for what I said. He really pissed me off”
I just sat back down on the bed and sighed. He stopped what he was doing and sat down beside me. I just felt his hand graze my cheek and I got goosebumps. After all this time together he still made me weak in the knees.
*Carey’s POV*
I could see how much she was hurting, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. This whole thing with Ryan really put her over the edge, and the whole idea of a family, after seeing Anna and Ryan, really excited me. At the same time, it scared the shit out of me.
I just tucked a piece of hair behind her ear while I watched her stare into space. I didn’t like what this was doing to her.
“Jules?“ she finally turned her head and a small smile appeared on her lips, “I think you need to stay here and get some sleep. You can take a flight back tomorrow”
“I’m not going unless I’m going with you”
“Sweetie, you’re absolutely exhausted. Sleep, come home tomorrow, plus, we have a game tomorrow night”
“Are you playing?”
“I doubt on back to back games, plus I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m blamed for that loss…”
“You didn’t lose that game” she said, “they lost that game. You played your ass off and made 40 amazing saves ok? Don’t blame yourself”
“We just let them--”
“Hey. I will not sit here and watch you beat yourself up for that. Do not say ‘we’, because you played hard, they played hard until the last two minutes when it counted. When you deserved a shutout”
I just sighed. I knew she meant well but after all that there wasn’t a whole lot that convinced me otherwise. I keep thinking “what if”. What if I had done one little thing different that have changed the course of the game? Maybe I would have gotten a shutout. Maybe we would have won.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
“What if…”
“Don’t start that on me again” she huffed, “maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll just sleep here and see you tomorrow, it’s not a long drive. You go with whoever it is you go with to the bus, I’ll take the car back”
“Ok…”
“I love you Carey, don’t forget that”
I just leaned down and gently placed my lips on hers, “Never. I love you too”
“I’ll see you in Montreal. I’ll stop by before the game ” she said.
“See you then” I gently smiled in her direction and was out the door. I didn’t like leaving her like that, but I had to go. I just hoped everything that happened didn’t change things between us. I wouldn’t be able to stand losing her.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
one: i am finished with you.
Hey, another collab between Julia and Autumn.
Enjoy!
song: the kill, 30 seconds to mars.
ANNA'S POV
It had to be one of the toughest games of the season. Ryan Miller was meditating, as usual, ignoring everything around him. The Sabres walked in and out of the dressing room, chatting quietly, doing their regular preparations before games. Tonight was a rivalry night.
And it was a hell of a game ahead.
I knew that, of course. I had left Ryan to meditate while I waited for Julie, who was wandering around the HSBC somewhere. We always agreed to meet up whenever we got the chance.
After all, what was a hockey wife to do?
Ok, we weren’t married to our guys (yet), but we might as well have considered ourselves married. I was with Ryan Miller, and Julie was with Carey Price of the Montreal Canadiens. We missed each other a lot, but it was helpful to know that we could confide in each other whenever one of our boys were away on a roadtrip.
I guess I had a little more baggage than Julie and Carey did. While Ryan and I were engaged to be married, we had a few bumps in our relationship- namely, one being a wonderful gift named Remy Nicole. Remy was our four year old daughter, who came along unexpectedly after her mom and dad had a bit too much to drink on awards night (don’t judge me, it was really good gin!). Ryan adored her, and so did I.
Tonight I was holding Remy’s hand as we saw Julia come around the corner and embrace me in a hug. It felt great to see her again. It’d been tough, especially after the Olympics, but somehow we’d been able to exchange phone calls and emails, and finally we got to hang out again. Remy was very excited to see Carey.
“Where’s Uncle Pricey?” Remy asked Julie excitedly, “Where?”
I smiled. ‘Uncle Pricey’ was what she called him. Pretty much the reason she loved Carey so much, besides the fact that he was a sweet guy, was because he kept Habs stickers in his coat pocket for her to play with.
“He’s getting ready for the game, sweetie,” Jules explained, “Now let’s go find our seats. You gonna have a word with Ry before?”
I nodded. Julie knew me, and my rituals. She took my daughter off and I went to find him.
I caught Ryan just as he finished his pre-game meditation.
“Hey,” I said, touching his arm, “Good luck tonight.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said, giving me a quick nod, “Did Jules make it?”
“Yeah, she’s here.”
“Ok, good. See you after, honey.”
That was that. I didn’t exactly like the way Ryan acted before games, but I had gotten used to it. When we first were together, we’d be hugging and kissing before the game and wishing the best, but now it was a quick word and that was it. I guess things change over time.
I joined Julia and Remy just in time for the national anthem. Jules was ecstatic that Carey was starting tonight; he hadn’t had a start for weeks. The situation in Montreal was a bad one for Carey; he was competing for the #1 spot with another goaltender, who was, I’ll admit, some pretty good competition. I wanted Carey to be traded, hopefully to a closer team so I could see Jules and him more often, but I’d never say that out loud.
The game started out simple enough, and Ryan missed a softie- it had been barely a minute and the Habs had scored on him. I saw his dejected look, but I told Remy that ‘Daddy was just sleeping for a bit,’ and I somehow convinced myself that was it.
It wasn’t the stress, the lack of lustre in our relationship, the extreme pressure for the playoffs, Vezina, the Gold medal loss. No, it couldn’t be that. I had to push those things out of my mind. They were weighing me down like a heavy cross.
The Habs got another one after Carey made some pretty spectacular saves. Jules was kind enough to cover Remy’s ears as the fans around us began to swear. We put on our happy faces as we made the teleprompter (we always did- how did they know where we were sitting?) and Remy was excited when they announced that it was her fourth birthday that day (“How did they know, Mommy? Did Daddy tell them?”).
The next period went about the same, but the third made the Sabres tie it up, and then after OT, a shoot-out came on. My stomach churned and I was glued to my seat. Ryan hated shoot-outs, but he was good at that. Carey, however, was going to crack at any minute. I wouldn’t say it to Jules, but the team had let him down. He had played great.
Ryan saved the game and the Sabres claimed victory. Julia sulked next to me, but said, “Well, Ryan’s still got it, even after the Olympics. You should be proud.”
Remy started bouncing around, so we decided it was time for us to take her down to see her dad and Carey as the game ended. I held Remy’s hand tightly, guarding her from the crowds. Only a selected few recognized us and wished Rem a happy birthday, much to her pleasure.
-
Ryan’s POV
I finally felt like I could relax for at least five minutes as the final buzzer sounded. I had done it; saved as many as need be. The guys flew out on the ice and we all congratulated each other. A job well done, Lindy said.
Just as I started skating behind my teammates (I always HAVE to leave the ice last), I felt something hit the back of my head. Rather, the back of my mask. The part that has the design that means the most to me.
I whirled around and saw a goalie stick on the ground, and a very guilty Carey Price at the blue line.
“The hell was that for?” I shouted at him.
Price propped up his mask and mouthed the words, “Fuck you.”
I glared at him, “Way to be a sore loser.” I didn’t need this. I had to go find my daughter and fiancee.
Price shoved me and I almost fell down. Now I was mad.
“You’re going to wish you hadn’t done that.” I growled, hoping he’d back off.
“Yeah? Why?” Price challenged.
I dropped my gloves and knocked him upside the face, making his mask fall off.
“What the hell, man?” Price asked innocently.
“Don’t throw your stick at my mask!” I snarled, “You know how much it means to me.”
“Fuck you, Miller,” Price retorted.
I sighed. Whatever problem he had, it wasn’t mine. Just as I was about to turn away, he shouted, “And you know what? Fuck Matt Man, too. Whoever the hell he is.”
I made a fist and punched Carey square in the face. He fell backward and landed on the ice. The crowd started to chatter amongst themselves. People stopped on their way out to see what was going on.
“Get the fuck out of my arena.” I snarled at him.
“You guys got lucky...” Carey said harshly.
I rolled my eyes, “We’ve got talent, is what.”
That was when Carey grabbed my skate and I felt down on my stomach. I rolled over just in time and kneed him in the chest, pushing him back. From there, we fell into an all-out brawl: my jersey ripped in half, Carey spat out a tooth, one of my eyes went black and I tried with all my might to break his nose.
I swear I could’ve killed the guy if a pair of hands hadn’t forced us apart.
“You’re acting like five year olds!” Julia exclaimed, holding us back from each other, “Honestly! There are still cameras running!”
Julie tried to pull us off the ice, but I pushing her hand away, “Your boyfriend threw his fucking stick at my mask.”
Carey jumped in, “Oh yeah? You punched out my front tooth!”
“You know what? Neither of you is the good guy here, so get off the ice and go home, Ryan. Carey, we’ll talk later...”
I shook my head, “Tell your boyfriend not to be a sore loser, then.”
“Guys? What’s going on?”
We turned to see Anna standing by the exit.
“Ryan, why are you all bloody?”
Price snapped, “It’s his fucking fault.”
Anna’s eyes looked sad, “Ryan, it’s Remy’s birthday. Please tell me you two didn’t fight...”
Julie groaned, “Ok, how about we all go home. This is honestly ridiculous. You’re lucky Rem didn’t see all this...”
Anna nodded, “Well, Carey’s got a temper, so I can see how it happened, but you’re right, Jules. Let’s go.”
I could see Anna hit a nerve on Julie, “Your boyfriend’s not any better there, dear.”
Carey sighed, “Jules, don’t start.”
Anna snapped, “He’s my FIANCEE, Julie.”
By now I’d had enough, “Annie, come on.”
“Well your FIANCEE had just as much to do with it!” Julie snapped back.
Carey grabbed Jules’ arm, “Let’s go home.”
Anna threw her arms in the air, “I wasn’t blaming him!”
I reached out, “Annie, don’t...you’re pregnant, remember?”
Julie’s face fell. Carey looked surprised. Anna looked pissed. I then realized that we hadn’t yet told them that Anna was pregnant again.
Julie sighed, “Oh, of course. You’ve got another kid coming. How did I not see this?”
Anna crossed her arms, “OK, ENOUGH. I think apologies are in order.”
Julie frowned, “Um, for what?”
Carey seconded her glance, “I don’t owe HIM anything.”
Now I was completely turned off. If I didn’t have to kick his ass first, now I wanted to totally get rid of him. I flipped Price the bird, “Fuck you, Price. Have a good night, Julia.”
Anna called after me, but I didn’t listen. I left the ice and went to the dressing room. She would have to deal with that idiot Carey Price, not me.
-
ANNA’S POV
I looked down at the cement floor by the ice where Carey and Jules stood, “I’m...I’m so sorry, you guys...”
Julie shrugged, “Yeah, it’s alright. From me, I’m sorry, but I don’t think he’ll apologizing anytime soon.”
We all knew she was talking about Carey, who simply said, “Let’s just go, please.”
“Uncle Pricey! You have an owwie on your head!”
Remy stood next to me, with an unhappy looking Pat Kaleta chasing after her. I sort of had to laugh; she always wound up escaping her babysitters, no longer how short a time they were supposed to watch her. I waved Pat off, telling thanks, but I’ve got it from here. He looked relieved as he walked away.
I felt her little hand tug on my sleeve, “I saw Daddy and Uncle Pricey on the TV. You said hitting was bad, Mommy!”
Julie cut in, “Your mom is right, Rems. Hitting IS bad, and I assure you, none of it will happen again, ok?”
Remy smiled, “Ok Ju Ju. Uncle Pricey, can I make your owwie all better?”
Price frowned at her. I smiled a bit at his slightly cute, confused face, “Heh, she wants to kiss it better, Carey.”
Carey smirked, skated over to where Remy stood and kneeled down to her level.
Remy held his head, “MWAH! All better!” She wrapped her small arms around his neck and giggled while he picked her up, placing her back in my arms.
“Thanks, sweetie, I feel so much better,” he told her. Remy grinned from ear to ear.
I look to Julie, “Jules, can you take Remy? I wanna talk with Carey for a minute.”
Julie nodded, “Sure thing.”
As Jules and Remy walked off, I wet my lips. Carey looked at me expectedly.
“Look, I’m really sorry about all this...I meant to tell you guys that I was expecting, but it just didn’t seem like the right time or place...Ryan just blurted it out, you know...”
Carey seemed to understand, “It’s ok. I just know Jules is a little upset about us not having kids yet. And seeing you have your second, really bothers her...”
I shifted from side to side, “I know. Neither were planned, though, I can tell you that much. Ryan and I just weren’t careful enough at times, and even though we want to get married this summer, I’ll be too big by then.”
“I can only imagine how hard it is too wait. But I do understand being away from her when on the road, especially with everything going on with this team...”
“Things are not well on the Sabres, either. Everyone is relying on Ryan. He doesn't even want any, well, you know, like he used to. He's worn right out.”
“And Julie has just been pissed off constantly. It gets a little hard to handle sometimes. She's not the same girl I fell in love with Anna...”
“I know how you feel...” I said, sighing as a strand of hair fell out of my messy ponytail. Carey brushed it out and tucked it behind my ear, making me shiver as his arm brushed my breast. I looked at him, he looked at me. For a second, I thought I felt something.
Something I shouldn’t be feeling.
“I just wanted to let you know, sorry about tonight, and you played well,” I said hastily, “And um, talk to you soon!”
I turned around and almost walked right into Ryan.
“What did he want?” Ryan demanded.
I clasped my hand around his, “Nothing. Let’s go home.”
Nearly an hour later, after Remy had been tucked into bed, I practically threw Ryan into our room, the same shiver still rushing through me. It was a hunger I needed to satisfy.
“I don’t care how tired you are,” I said sternly, “Take off your pants.”
Enjoy!
song: the kill, 30 seconds to mars.
ANNA'S POV
It had to be one of the toughest games of the season. Ryan Miller was meditating, as usual, ignoring everything around him. The Sabres walked in and out of the dressing room, chatting quietly, doing their regular preparations before games. Tonight was a rivalry night.
And it was a hell of a game ahead.
I knew that, of course. I had left Ryan to meditate while I waited for Julie, who was wandering around the HSBC somewhere. We always agreed to meet up whenever we got the chance.
After all, what was a hockey wife to do?
Ok, we weren’t married to our guys (yet), but we might as well have considered ourselves married. I was with Ryan Miller, and Julie was with Carey Price of the Montreal Canadiens. We missed each other a lot, but it was helpful to know that we could confide in each other whenever one of our boys were away on a roadtrip.
I guess I had a little more baggage than Julie and Carey did. While Ryan and I were engaged to be married, we had a few bumps in our relationship- namely, one being a wonderful gift named Remy Nicole. Remy was our four year old daughter, who came along unexpectedly after her mom and dad had a bit too much to drink on awards night (don’t judge me, it was really good gin!). Ryan adored her, and so did I.
Tonight I was holding Remy’s hand as we saw Julia come around the corner and embrace me in a hug. It felt great to see her again. It’d been tough, especially after the Olympics, but somehow we’d been able to exchange phone calls and emails, and finally we got to hang out again. Remy was very excited to see Carey.
“Where’s Uncle Pricey?” Remy asked Julie excitedly, “Where?”
I smiled. ‘Uncle Pricey’ was what she called him. Pretty much the reason she loved Carey so much, besides the fact that he was a sweet guy, was because he kept Habs stickers in his coat pocket for her to play with.
“He’s getting ready for the game, sweetie,” Jules explained, “Now let’s go find our seats. You gonna have a word with Ry before?”
I nodded. Julie knew me, and my rituals. She took my daughter off and I went to find him.
I caught Ryan just as he finished his pre-game meditation.
“Hey,” I said, touching his arm, “Good luck tonight.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said, giving me a quick nod, “Did Jules make it?”
“Yeah, she’s here.”
“Ok, good. See you after, honey.”
That was that. I didn’t exactly like the way Ryan acted before games, but I had gotten used to it. When we first were together, we’d be hugging and kissing before the game and wishing the best, but now it was a quick word and that was it. I guess things change over time.
I joined Julia and Remy just in time for the national anthem. Jules was ecstatic that Carey was starting tonight; he hadn’t had a start for weeks. The situation in Montreal was a bad one for Carey; he was competing for the #1 spot with another goaltender, who was, I’ll admit, some pretty good competition. I wanted Carey to be traded, hopefully to a closer team so I could see Jules and him more often, but I’d never say that out loud.
The game started out simple enough, and Ryan missed a softie- it had been barely a minute and the Habs had scored on him. I saw his dejected look, but I told Remy that ‘Daddy was just sleeping for a bit,’ and I somehow convinced myself that was it.
It wasn’t the stress, the lack of lustre in our relationship, the extreme pressure for the playoffs, Vezina, the Gold medal loss. No, it couldn’t be that. I had to push those things out of my mind. They were weighing me down like a heavy cross.
The Habs got another one after Carey made some pretty spectacular saves. Jules was kind enough to cover Remy’s ears as the fans around us began to swear. We put on our happy faces as we made the teleprompter (we always did- how did they know where we were sitting?) and Remy was excited when they announced that it was her fourth birthday that day (“How did they know, Mommy? Did Daddy tell them?”).
The next period went about the same, but the third made the Sabres tie it up, and then after OT, a shoot-out came on. My stomach churned and I was glued to my seat. Ryan hated shoot-outs, but he was good at that. Carey, however, was going to crack at any minute. I wouldn’t say it to Jules, but the team had let him down. He had played great.
Ryan saved the game and the Sabres claimed victory. Julia sulked next to me, but said, “Well, Ryan’s still got it, even after the Olympics. You should be proud.”
Remy started bouncing around, so we decided it was time for us to take her down to see her dad and Carey as the game ended. I held Remy’s hand tightly, guarding her from the crowds. Only a selected few recognized us and wished Rem a happy birthday, much to her pleasure.
-
Ryan’s POV
I finally felt like I could relax for at least five minutes as the final buzzer sounded. I had done it; saved as many as need be. The guys flew out on the ice and we all congratulated each other. A job well done, Lindy said.
Just as I started skating behind my teammates (I always HAVE to leave the ice last), I felt something hit the back of my head. Rather, the back of my mask. The part that has the design that means the most to me.
I whirled around and saw a goalie stick on the ground, and a very guilty Carey Price at the blue line.
“The hell was that for?” I shouted at him.
Price propped up his mask and mouthed the words, “Fuck you.”
I glared at him, “Way to be a sore loser.” I didn’t need this. I had to go find my daughter and fiancee.
Price shoved me and I almost fell down. Now I was mad.
“You’re going to wish you hadn’t done that.” I growled, hoping he’d back off.
“Yeah? Why?” Price challenged.
I dropped my gloves and knocked him upside the face, making his mask fall off.
“What the hell, man?” Price asked innocently.
“Don’t throw your stick at my mask!” I snarled, “You know how much it means to me.”
“Fuck you, Miller,” Price retorted.
I sighed. Whatever problem he had, it wasn’t mine. Just as I was about to turn away, he shouted, “And you know what? Fuck Matt Man, too. Whoever the hell he is.”
I made a fist and punched Carey square in the face. He fell backward and landed on the ice. The crowd started to chatter amongst themselves. People stopped on their way out to see what was going on.
“Get the fuck out of my arena.” I snarled at him.
“You guys got lucky...” Carey said harshly.
I rolled my eyes, “We’ve got talent, is what.”
That was when Carey grabbed my skate and I felt down on my stomach. I rolled over just in time and kneed him in the chest, pushing him back. From there, we fell into an all-out brawl: my jersey ripped in half, Carey spat out a tooth, one of my eyes went black and I tried with all my might to break his nose.
I swear I could’ve killed the guy if a pair of hands hadn’t forced us apart.
“You’re acting like five year olds!” Julia exclaimed, holding us back from each other, “Honestly! There are still cameras running!”
Julie tried to pull us off the ice, but I pushing her hand away, “Your boyfriend threw his fucking stick at my mask.”
Carey jumped in, “Oh yeah? You punched out my front tooth!”
“You know what? Neither of you is the good guy here, so get off the ice and go home, Ryan. Carey, we’ll talk later...”
I shook my head, “Tell your boyfriend not to be a sore loser, then.”
“Guys? What’s going on?”
We turned to see Anna standing by the exit.
“Ryan, why are you all bloody?”
Price snapped, “It’s his fucking fault.”
Anna’s eyes looked sad, “Ryan, it’s Remy’s birthday. Please tell me you two didn’t fight...”
Julie groaned, “Ok, how about we all go home. This is honestly ridiculous. You’re lucky Rem didn’t see all this...”
Anna nodded, “Well, Carey’s got a temper, so I can see how it happened, but you’re right, Jules. Let’s go.”
I could see Anna hit a nerve on Julie, “Your boyfriend’s not any better there, dear.”
Carey sighed, “Jules, don’t start.”
Anna snapped, “He’s my FIANCEE, Julie.”
By now I’d had enough, “Annie, come on.”
“Well your FIANCEE had just as much to do with it!” Julie snapped back.
Carey grabbed Jules’ arm, “Let’s go home.”
Anna threw her arms in the air, “I wasn’t blaming him!”
I reached out, “Annie, don’t...you’re pregnant, remember?”
Julie’s face fell. Carey looked surprised. Anna looked pissed. I then realized that we hadn’t yet told them that Anna was pregnant again.
Julie sighed, “Oh, of course. You’ve got another kid coming. How did I not see this?”
Anna crossed her arms, “OK, ENOUGH. I think apologies are in order.”
Julie frowned, “Um, for what?”
Carey seconded her glance, “I don’t owe HIM anything.”
Now I was completely turned off. If I didn’t have to kick his ass first, now I wanted to totally get rid of him. I flipped Price the bird, “Fuck you, Price. Have a good night, Julia.”
Anna called after me, but I didn’t listen. I left the ice and went to the dressing room. She would have to deal with that idiot Carey Price, not me.
-
ANNA’S POV
I looked down at the cement floor by the ice where Carey and Jules stood, “I’m...I’m so sorry, you guys...”
Julie shrugged, “Yeah, it’s alright. From me, I’m sorry, but I don’t think he’ll apologizing anytime soon.”
We all knew she was talking about Carey, who simply said, “Let’s just go, please.”
“Uncle Pricey! You have an owwie on your head!”
Remy stood next to me, with an unhappy looking Pat Kaleta chasing after her. I sort of had to laugh; she always wound up escaping her babysitters, no longer how short a time they were supposed to watch her. I waved Pat off, telling thanks, but I’ve got it from here. He looked relieved as he walked away.
I felt her little hand tug on my sleeve, “I saw Daddy and Uncle Pricey on the TV. You said hitting was bad, Mommy!”
Julie cut in, “Your mom is right, Rems. Hitting IS bad, and I assure you, none of it will happen again, ok?”
Remy smiled, “Ok Ju Ju. Uncle Pricey, can I make your owwie all better?”
Price frowned at her. I smiled a bit at his slightly cute, confused face, “Heh, she wants to kiss it better, Carey.”
Carey smirked, skated over to where Remy stood and kneeled down to her level.
Remy held his head, “MWAH! All better!” She wrapped her small arms around his neck and giggled while he picked her up, placing her back in my arms.
“Thanks, sweetie, I feel so much better,” he told her. Remy grinned from ear to ear.
I look to Julie, “Jules, can you take Remy? I wanna talk with Carey for a minute.”
Julie nodded, “Sure thing.”
As Jules and Remy walked off, I wet my lips. Carey looked at me expectedly.
“Look, I’m really sorry about all this...I meant to tell you guys that I was expecting, but it just didn’t seem like the right time or place...Ryan just blurted it out, you know...”
Carey seemed to understand, “It’s ok. I just know Jules is a little upset about us not having kids yet. And seeing you have your second, really bothers her...”
I shifted from side to side, “I know. Neither were planned, though, I can tell you that much. Ryan and I just weren’t careful enough at times, and even though we want to get married this summer, I’ll be too big by then.”
“I can only imagine how hard it is too wait. But I do understand being away from her when on the road, especially with everything going on with this team...”
“Things are not well on the Sabres, either. Everyone is relying on Ryan. He doesn't even want any, well, you know, like he used to. He's worn right out.”
“And Julie has just been pissed off constantly. It gets a little hard to handle sometimes. She's not the same girl I fell in love with Anna...”
“I know how you feel...” I said, sighing as a strand of hair fell out of my messy ponytail. Carey brushed it out and tucked it behind my ear, making me shiver as his arm brushed my breast. I looked at him, he looked at me. For a second, I thought I felt something.
Something I shouldn’t be feeling.
“I just wanted to let you know, sorry about tonight, and you played well,” I said hastily, “And um, talk to you soon!”
I turned around and almost walked right into Ryan.
“What did he want?” Ryan demanded.
I clasped my hand around his, “Nothing. Let’s go home.”
Nearly an hour later, after Remy had been tucked into bed, I practically threw Ryan into our room, the same shiver still rushing through me. It was a hunger I needed to satisfy.
“I don’t care how tired you are,” I said sternly, “Take off your pants.”
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