seven: I can't find the words to tell you.

song: never let this go by paramore.

*Ryan's POV*

Poor Julie. I had no idea what to do. I only did what she wanted, in hopes she would remain safe. As she drifted off to sleep in the dark, I stayed awake and let my thoughts wander.

It really hit me then that Anna had, or was, cheating on me. With her best friend's boyfriend. I sighed, wondering how this could have happened. Could I have prevented it? Certainly. I could've prevented a lot of things.

The voice of my coach and long-time friend, Lindy Ruff, came into my head as I thought to myself.

"Don't blame yourself for every little goal they get on you. Celebrate the ones you stop, and learn from your mistakes."

In truth, the only reason I'd asked for Anna's hand was because we had a daughter together- that, and my mom was pestering me to make things 'proper.' Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a normal, middle-class household in Michigan, but that was how Mom was. She loved her granddaughter, but told me constantly that I had to marry Anna to set a good example for Remy. Maybe asking her to marry me was a mistake.

I knew I wasn't in love with Anna anymore, and that was why I was more confused than heartbroken as Julie was. Things had started to fade between us just before I left for Vancouver. We'd make love less, kiss less, hug a little lighter. While Dustin Brown, my roommate in the village, spent a good hour on the phone with his girlfriend after the Gold game loss to Canada, I texted Anna briefly. Walking around with my silver medal at the closing ceremonies, I found myself thinking not of Anna, but of my daughter, watching on television. I had to show her that Daddy was a proud American, no matter what place we'd made it to.

Remy. What was I going to do about her? I knew at some point I'd have to confront Anna about her sleeping with Carey, which I knew would result in breaking off the engagement. In a way, for Remy's sake, I thought about going to see a relationship counsellor after dealing with that. I wanted to stay with Anna, so that Remy would still have her mother around. I didn't want to break things between them.

Carey Price was a different story. I despised him for two reasons, the first being that he had slept with the mother of my child and wife to be, and secondly that he had driven Julie to attempt suicide. The second part made me angrier than the first. Somehow I knew Anna and I were detiorating, and my refusal of lovemaking for a long time didn't surprise me that she chose to cheat. My heart ached, knowing it truly was my own fault, and I probably deserved it. But what Carey did to Julie was the single most unnecessary act in the world. How could he hurt such a sweet and beautiful girl?

I ran my fingers through Julie's hair, listening to her breathing softly. I was more concerned for her than for myself, which didn't make too much sense. It was lucky that she'd called me and I'd caught her before it was too late. Thinking of this, I squeezed her tightly, a bit, just to make sure she was still there. Julie groaned in her sleep and snuggled up to me closer; her hand reaching up and grazing across my cheek.

"I like your stubble, Ryan..." Jules whispered in her sleep.

I chuckled a bit, "Thanks."

The last time Anna and I had stayed in bed like this was almost a year ago. I hardly remembered it. This kind of thing we used to do all the time, and shortly after Remy was born, things changed. Stress evolved. Waking up in the middle of the night became a chore. And we lost interest in each other.

Of course, the last time we'd really had sex was the second time I got Anna pregnant. We were both drunk at Drew Stafford's house during somebody's birthday celebration, and we both snuck off to the guest bedroom and locked ourselves in. We used no protection, and a couple months later (which was ironically, now), we found out about the pregnancy. I was happy to be becoming a father again and I immediately proposed to Anna.

I was slowly weaving my own mess, and now it had come full circle for me. But at this moment I didn't care. All I cared about was the small, shaking bundle next to me, begging for my attention. I held onto her tightly, promising not to leave that night.

Julia needed me.

Anna didn't.

-

*Anna's POV*

"...and seriously, the best part about being pregnant? Multiple orgasms."

Carey smirked, "I know. I've got the marks on my back to prove it."

I wrapped my legs around his, "Tell me, Price. Am I better than her?"

He lit a cigarette, "Oh yeah..."

I smiled and leaned back on the pillow. Two fucking hours of mind-blowing sex with Carey Price. Mmmhmm. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I was so sick and tired of the mindless, useless stuff with Ryan. Carey was different, exciting- and he gave me what I wanted. Several times.

"Julie doesn't let me smoke."

"Julie's a bitch sometimes," I sighed, "You can smoke if you want."

Carey laughed, "You don't think being thrown around by me is bad for your baby?"

I shrugged, "I didn't want another kid, to be honest."

Carey gave me a shocked look, "So you don't care....?"

"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

I watched Carey blow a smoke ring. My phone suddenly went off. I jumped out of bed, naked of course, and looked at my phone. Ryan had texted me twice, asking where I was. I simply texted him back that I had gone shopping.

"Who was it?" Carey asked me.

I smirked, pulling the blankets back, "No one."