Wednesday, April 21, 2010

sixteen: it's just the way you are

Song: You've Got A Way, Shania Twain

*Julie’s POV*

My emotions were scattered everywhere at this point. I felt…something for Ryan, something I couldn’t explain. I just knew when I was with him, it’s as if it was just us. Nobody else even existed, or mattered.

As I sat in the passenger seat, I was still beaming. After our locker room incident, how could I not be this ecstatic. I turned my head to look at him, as he intently kept his eyes on the road. I don’t think he even realized I was staring.

At the same time, amidst all this happiness, and excitement, Price was still in the back of my mind. I know what you’re thinking, he has no business being there, but he was part of the reason I was feeling like this. I used to feel this with him, it’s been so long since I’ve felt it, and there was a tiny part of me that wonders if he could compete with Ryan after that. There was still a part of me that wanted to test that theory. It was probably just my hormones at work, causing those thoughts, considering what I just did with Ryan.

I didn’t know what to think anymore. I just knew I had to get over this shit with Price. I knew Ryan was the only person that was going to help me do that.

We got back to his place, and Ryan did his pre-game routine. I wasn’t going to the game tonight, I was exhausted, I was going to head to bed early tonight.

I was left to my thoughts as Ryan left that evening for the arena. I didn’t know what was left to think about. There was this one thing that caught me off guard. I got a text message, from Price.

“I miss you” was all he said.

I actually felt my heart break, just a little bit. I didn’t understand why. I know you don’t get over your first and only love overnight, but I still didn’t think that something as simple as a text message would make me feel that miserable.


I woke up the next morning with an arm around my waist. I woke up where I didn’t fall asleep. He must have taken me to bed last night, even Price never did that…

I shifted and stood up, only to feel weak and a bit nauseous. Before I knew it, I was hugging the toilet, puking what felt like all my guts in there. Thankfully, my heaving didn’t wake Ryan up, but the fact that I was feeling this now…was a nervewracking sign.

I brushed my teeth, washed out my mouth and changed into a pair of ripped jeans and a old vintage v-neck t-shirt of mine. I went into the kitchen and made myself some coffee, I wasn’t exactly hungry after that.

“Hey you” I heard Ryan come into the living room as I turned on ESPN.

“I see you won last night” I smiled looking at the 4-1 score.

“Sure did” he said.

“You have been playing really well lately if I do say so myself” I smirked.

He walked over to me and leaned over the arm of the couch, “You think so?”

I just nodded in agreement as he leaned in for a kiss, that left me absolutely breathless, “You’re good at that”

He just laughed, “Well thank you” he said pecking my lips again before going to grab some coffee.

“You have practice today?” I asked.

“Just an optional skate. I might not go”

“You should go” I said quickly.

He turned around and raised an eyebrow at me, “Why?”

“Well, the extra time seems to be doing some good. You should keep it going”

“If you insist” he shrugged.

I needed to get him away for a couple hours. I had to go to the drug store and find out if this sickness was what I thought it was. I mean, it’s been a few days since the first time…but I didn’t think it could happen that easily. I mean…with Carey, it never happened…

I quickly left for the drug store after Ryan left. I grabbed myself a pregnancy test and stopped at a convenience store, and used their public washroom. I didn’t want Ryan seeing the trash in the garbage, I wasn’t ready to tell him.

I leaned against the wall of the stall impatiently waiting for the result. It felt like years as I waited to see if this was really true. I stopped the moment I heard the fateful beep to indicate it was done. I paused, frozen, preparing myself for what was to come.

I slowly moved toward it, picked it up and saw the result. A little pink plus sign. It was positive. I was pregnant, with Ryan Miller’s baby. Holy shit.

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