thirteen: here’s the day you hoped would never come.

song: speeding cars by imogen heap.

*Ryan’s POV*

I woke up bright and early the day after I’d called Julie at 3am. I sighed and looked at the clock, figuring I could shower and then go to the gym. Remy was still at her grandparents house, so I had nothing better to do.

Standing there, letting the water hit me, I closed my eyes and thought of Julie. I hoped she was ok in Montreal. I hoped Carey hadn’t hurt her anymore. The last thing I wanted was to have to run to her rescue- which, regardless, I would do without a second thought.

The phone was ringing as I pulled on my Sabres shirt, “Hello?”

“Ryan!” it was my mother, “I’ve been trying to reach you for almost two hours, dear!”

“Oh,” I glanced at the clock, seeing it was 11 am, “Sorry, mum, we had an early practice. How is Remy doing?”

“She’s wonderful, as always,” Mom said with a laugh, “She’s been saying something strange, though...”

I swallowed, “Really?”

“Something about ‘Mommy going on a long vacation’...”

I sighed, “I didn’t want to tell you...”

“Is this a conversation I want to have over the phone? Or is it something I should have your father here for?”

“Mum, I really need your support right now,” I said slowly, “We’re close to playoffs...the first time in years.”

“I know, sweetie, but you’re worrying me, and so is Remy,” Mom told me, “Please, Ryan. You know I love you.”

Glad to know someone still did, “Ok...it’s a bit of a long story...”

So I told her. Everything. How Anna had cheated from the start and I swiftly hid it from Remy. How she went after Price and broke Julie’s heart. And how I had safely hid it from everyone for the sake of a marriage that would be built on lies. Mostly for the sake of Remy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” I said quickly, “I just felt so guilty, like maybe I deserved it...”

“Ryan, don’t you even start,” Mom said sternly, “You did this all the time in your junior years, and I still hark upon you for it now- don’t blame yourself for this. What Anna has done has nothing to do with you. Unless, of course, you’ve done something of less caliber?”

“I’ve remained loyal. I can’t cheat. I just can’t.”

“Are you two still speaking?”

“Hardly,” I said, “Honestly, I want this second baby as bad as I wanted the first. Remy’s my life now, Mom. Really.”

“Ok,” she said after a long sigh, “What’s important right now is that your daughter is stable. We don’t want to be throwing her around from house-to-house. Poor thing is already so confused.”

“I know,” I said, rubbing my brow, “She’s my number one concern...”

I talked with my mother for about fifteen more minutes and we figured out that since spring break was coming up, Remy could spend it with them in Michigan. That would give me a full week to work things out with Anna...and possibly Julie. I wasn’t going to mention that I had a slight crush, if you could call it that, on the other party involved.

How could I not, really? Jules was sweet and concerned, not self-centered and cold like Anna. My mind kept going back to the warm feeling of her hands as she lulled me to sleep that night I fell sick. She’d healed me in more ways than one.

I decided I wanted to head to the gym for a couple of hours. Working out often cleared my head. A few ab crunches were always a great way to start, and perhaps afterwards I could go for a swim. I’d taken up swimming during my ankle injury in 2009 to keep my heart rate up, and I loved it. So after two hours, I returned home.

To my surprise, Julie was sitting on the front porch with a duffel bag. She perked up the second I pulled in. Parking, I practically jumped out of my car and ran over to see her.

I felt her put her arms around my neck. It felt good to feel her again. I hugged her tightly.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked, bringing her in the house. She tossed her bag.

“Ryan, I’m really sorry, but...a few things happened and I have nowhere else to go, and I wanted to call but I wasn’t sure if you’d be up around 2 am and I couldn’t because I was afraid you’d-”

“Julie,” I put a finger on her lips, “It’s cool. You’re welcome here anytime.”

She blushed, “Oh, ok...”

I felt her put a hand on my arm, “Ryan...I need to talk to you.”

My eyes widened, “About?”

Jules sighed, “It’s a bit of a long story actually.”

I gestured to the living room. We sat facing each other on the sofa. Julie looked sad and distant, so I reached for her hand. She squeezed it gently, and told me everything- the club, Carey, Josh Gorges...and Anna no longer being pregnant.

“Ryan, I’m really sorry about all this,” she said quietly, “I really wish I could fix things...”

“It’s ok,” I said, “Thank you for telling me.”

Julie reached out and stroked the side of my face where Anna had hit me, “I know how much you wanted another baby.”

I couldn’t look at her, “I don’t want it with her anymore...I want to consider it a good thing...”

Julie’s face came close to mine, our foreheads touching. I closed my eyes and took a breath. My body started to tremble.

“Ry...” she whispered, our lips touching, “You don’t deserve to hurt like this.”

I said nothing as she kissed me gently. The kiss started to get more passionate. Jules grabbed me by the wrists and pinned me down to the sofa, kissing me harder. I felt like my entire body was on fire.

We must’ve made out like teenagers for a good ten minutes or so. As we slowly broke away, Julie looked down at me and smiled. I smiled back, letting her lie down on top of me, holding her close.

“Ryan...” she said breathily.

“Mmm?”

“Don’t let go of me.”

I held her tightly, “I won’t.”

Suddenly, I felt Julie’s hands undoing my belt buckle. I reached down and grabbed her, alarmed. She looked at me with a scared face.

“No,” I told her, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Jules looked a bit disappointed, “Oh...sorry. I shouldn’t...”

“It’s ok,” I assured her, trying to change the subject, “You want me to make us something for dinner?”

She broke into a smile, “If I can help!”

Together we had a blast in the kitchen. Julie was really good at cooking, better than I was. I offered an old bottle of wine that Anna and I had received from Derek Roy on our three-year-anniversary, something that wasn’t worth celebrating. After dinner we washed dishes together and cleaned up the kitchen. I’d never done this with Anna, or had such a good time while doing so.

It still wasn’t quite time for bed, so Julie pulled her favourite movie, You’ve Got Mail, out of her bag and popped it in. I’d seen it a million times, so had she; but it never got old. We passed the time watching that.

I readied the guest bedroom for her. Julie came walking out of the bathroom wearing the cutest pair of shorts and top- her pajamas. I felt a bit awkward wishing her goodnight, but Julie gave me one of her best smiles and I melted.

“You’re so sweet,” she said, hugging me, “Thank you, Ryan.”

I mumbled something along the lines of ‘you’re welcome,’ as I went into my own room, crawled into bed and fell asleep.

A couple hours later I woke up after hearing a noise. I saw out of the corner of my eye that my door was ajar. Before I could react, I opened my eyes fully.

Julie was on top of me. Naked.

And she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

“Make love to me, Ryan,” she whispered, pulling me into a soft kiss.

“Julie...” I ran my hands up and down her soft arms, making her shiver.

“Please.”

I fell under her spell as she started to kiss me.