ten: i was a fool to hurt you

Song: Dying to Live Again, Hedley


*Carey’s POV*

I wasn’t making the saves, I was letting in softies, nothing was going right for me right now.

“You alright?” Cammalleri asked me as we headed to the dressing room after practice, “You’re not playing like you”

“I’m fine” I said.

“Well ever since you broke it off with Julie, you just seem…different”

I just sighed, the mention of her name even got to me. I was suddenly starting to feel guilty about what I did. I didn’t care what I did to Ryan, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I really did hurt her and how selfish I was being.

“I agree with Cammy” I heard Gorges say, “Something’s different”

I heard Martin come in behind us and tap me on the shoulder, “We’re going with Jaro against the Devils” he said.

“Alright” I replied. I completely understood, I knew I wouldn’t play a good game against a team like that. Jaro would do a better job.

I changed back into my street clothes and headed back towards the apartment. Julie had went to Buffalo with Ryan, she didn’t want to be here when I was cleaning my stuff out. I was moving into a place with Gorges, until I was able to find a place of my own. He was nice enough to offer the guest bedroom.

I walked into the apartment and I have to admit, my heart broke. She was all over the apartment. Pictures, her scent was still lingering, even the memories all came back.

“I really do hate you” she said crossing her arms. She was really mad. So was I.

“Don’t start bitching again” I sighed.

“I’m not bitching! You’re just being a dick” she huffed.

“I’m always being a dick aren’t I?”

“Yes”

“What did I do? All I did was forget our two years”

“How do you forget we’ve been together for two years Carey?!”

“I play hockey, I’m on the road, I lose track of what day it is!” I replied, “How can you blame me?” She was overreacting.

I moved closer to her and all she did was turn her head to avoid looking at me. I put my hands on her shoulders and just rubbed her arms. She just sighed and looked at me.

“I’m sorry” I said.

“You know it’s hard to stay mad at you” she said, “I hate that”

I just chuckled, “Well since we still have some of this night left, what do you say we make use of it?” I just heard her giggle a little before I placed my lips onto hers. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered but her.

The vibration of my phone interrupted my thoughts. I pulled it from my back pocket. It was Anna.

“I can’t wait to see you again ; )”

I just sighed and ignored the message. This wasn’t what I needed right now. I missed Julie and I was finally starting to realize that life without her, sucked. I don’t know what caused me to do this. I think it had more to do with my jealousy of Ryan than it did with Julie. I really screwed up this time. I didn’t know if I could even fix it.

I grabbed my phone and decided to call her. Maybe she’d answer, maybe she won’t, it didn’t hurt to try.

I heard three rings before someone answered.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“Jules, we need to talk”

“Don’t call me Jules, and I think we talked enough already”

“Please Julie. Just you and me, no Anna, no Ryan”

She just sighed, “When I get back to Montreal I’ll give you five minutes, that’s it. But I’m not promising anything”

“I’ll take it, Bye”

She didn’t say bye, she just hung up. I just let out a long sigh and set my phone on the bed. I didn’t think this was going to bother me this much, but it really did. I do still love her. I need to clean up this mess. I need a second chance.